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| ©Robert
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IN
THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST COMPASSIONATE, MOST MERCIFUL
One
night, not so long ago, I began to question my belief in the
purity of the Bible. Because of this, I felt depressed. I knew
that God was there, and I knew that He had sent down His
religion to man, but I could not find it. Why was it so hard
to find? Why would God allow it to be so hard? I prayed and
asked God, Why would You send down a scripture (the Bible) and
allow for there to be flaws in it? My Lord had been answering
my question even before I asked.
About
two years before this point, when I was sixteen, I had a
religious yearning. It was like a thirst that I could not
quench. I thought I was satisfied with my religion of
Mormonism. But the truth was, I wasn't satisfied. It was as if
God was calling me. I decided to put the Scriptures under
close examination. I put aside my Book of Mormon, and picked
up the Bible. I studied it from a viewpoint outside of what my
religion taught me, since my religion taught me how to
interpret the Bible in a very specific and
"official" way. Instead, I looked at it not as one
who had no religion, but as one who wanted to follow the
Scriptures to the fullest.
As
I studied, I noticed how Christ taught only to the Jews. He
would not preach to anyone except the children of Israel. Studying his life closely, I noticed that this man did not
follow any religion that actually exists today. He was a
follower of God's law as it was sent to the Jews in the past.
Right there, my religion was questionable. I also read in the
book of Acts that the apostles would not eat pork or any other
foods that were earlier prohibited by God. In the other books,
the followers of Christ (peace be upon him) would follow all
of the laws and traditions which God had sent down in the
past. Neither my religion nor any other Christians that I knew
followed this example.
Studying it even closer, I saw that all Christian churches
relied upon the teachings of Paul, whose letters actually
contradicted many of the words of Jesus (peace be upon him).
Now I knew that my religion was definitely in question.
I believed in one God, I believed in Jesus, I believed in
Moses, I believed in Noah, and I believed in all of the other
prophets who preached the worship of one God. But what other
Books existed to replace the Bible? I believed that there were
none.
Then I remembered what an old Muslim friend told me. He said
that Muslims believe in the Qur'an, in only one God, and in
all the messengers of God, which includes all of the Christian
and Jewish prophets. At that time, I had a book that explained
Islam at a very basic level. It was a great source for me. I
began to understand Islam much more, and found it somewhat
interesting.
After this, I went on the Internet to look up things about
Islam. I found some sites with arguments against Christian
beliefs, and I studied their arguments closely. They explained
how most Christians do not follow their Scriptures as closely
as they should. In truth, the Muslim sites were confirming
what I already knew.
My interest in Islam was soaring. I decided to ask my neighbor
to borrow his Qur'an. I read it in a few weeks. I loved it –
I believed every word it said. However, I could not believe
that the crucifixion was a false story. I was so brainwashed
by the Bible that I could not accept the truth at the time.
So, when the night came in which I finally lost my trust in
the Bible's purity and incorruptibility, I decided to look
into Islam again. In my heart during those two years, I knew
that the truth lay in Islam, but I simply could not allow
myself to accept it. There were personal reasons for my
stubbornness – reasons planted in my heart by Satan. That
night I went online to begin my new spiritual search. I went
to many online sites, and I ordered information from many of
them. Then I went to Why-Islam.org,
and I read a beautiful article entitled, "The
Fall of Atheism." I read some interesting facts about
the Qur'an, and I said to myself, this might be the way that
God has led me. But it was still too soon to tell.
Just before I logged off, I ordered more information about
Islam. A few days later, a representative of Why-Islam.org
sent me an email. He thanked me for my interest in Islam, and
told me that I could write to him at anytime if I had any
questions concerning Islam.
Thus, we began a dialogue online. He gave me a lot of
information about Islam. I asked him a deep question: How do
Muslims actually prove to Christians that the crucifixion did
not happen? He wanted to meet up with me to discuss it, and I
agreed. We met up in a neighborhood pizza parlor. Our
discussion left me in awe. He showed me verses of the Bible
that I had always overlooked. He left me with a Qur'an and a
lecture on CD. As soon as I went home, I knew that this was
God's religion, but I did not want to rush into it. Instead, I
studied it more.
All my studies led me to the same conclusion: Islam was the
path of God. Still, I was afraid to convert. Converting is a
life decision, and I was not willing to take that decision
lightly.
One
day, the brother from Why-Islam.org wanted to take me to the
Friday prayer (the Juma'a prayer). The night before, Satan
struck with all his force. He knew that I was going to say the
Shahada (the public declaration that there is no deity but
God, and that Muhammad is His Messenger), and thereby convert
to Islam. All night, he whispered things in my heart, trying
to show me that Islam was not the way to go. In fact, so
intense were his promptings that I slept for no more than an
hour that night. I kept on praying to God, reading the Qur'an,
and praying some more. Satan put so many thoughts in my head
that even I believed that I was not going to convert.
About an hour after I had fallen to sleep, my mother woke me
up saying that I had to watch the kids until she came back
from the hospital. My little brother's toe was hurting him and
my mother believed that it was broken. She needed me to stay
home with the other kids so she could take him to the doctor.
She did not expect to be back until six in the evening.
When
I heard this, I knew that I was not going to the Juma'a prayer
service. I had to stay home with the kids at the time that it
started. The brother from Why-Islam.org called me up. He asked
if I was ready, and I told him the story. He explained that he
felt especially bad because this Friday was his only Friday in
which he was free to bring me there. He even told me that I
could bring the kids with me. I figured that they would feel
awkward there, and so I said no. I told him to call me after
half an hour. Maybe I would have a solution by then, but deep
inside I did not expect to go.
I talked to my mother and asked her if it was possible for me
to go. She found some extra money for the kids to go with her,
thus letting me off the hook. I thank God for this little
miracle, for this event changed my life. The Muslim brother
later told me that he had relied on God to lead me to the
mosque that day. When he heard that I was not going to come,
he prayed to God knowing that I did not have a choice in the
matter. If I was to become Muslim, it was God Who was going to
make me a Muslim. If I was not going to become a Muslim, that
was again God's will.
When the brother heard that I was able to come, he was very
happy. He picked me up shortly after that. On the way there, I
began to feel sick. I felt nauseous, weak, dizzy, as if I was
going to collapse. It was Satan doing this to me. He was
desperate to get me away from the mosque and he made me think
that I was feeling too sick to go. In fact, these were just
minor side effects from having too little sleep the night
before.
In the car on our way to the mosque, I told the brother that I
was thinking about changing my mind about taking Shahada. He
told me that the choice was mine, but to beware of the doubts
that Satan puts into one's head. For a while, we talked in the
car about Satan whispering into people's hearts, and how Satan
tries to drag someone from the Light. He explained to me that
only Muslims and non-Muslims who are on their way to becoming
Muslim are heavily affected by Satan. He said that non-Muslims
are generally left alone, because Satan does not need to
distract them from God, since they are already far from Him.
He explained that last night, all the thoughts that flooded my
head were from Satan. Satan put so much doubt in my head
in that one night in order to pull me from the Light. This was
how desperate Satan was – he knew that I was going to take
Shahada the next day and was trying anything to prevent this.
We went into the mosque, and the brother taught me how to make
ablution (wudhu-cleaning one's self before prayer). After the
ablution, I felt brand new, and my nausea had left my body. I
was not even thinking about the sickness anymore, I just felt
good to be in a place where God is worshiped. We approached
the director and told him that I wanted to take the Shahada
that day after the service. He smiled and congratulated me
with a warm hug. Another brother who overheard us did the
same. He said, "God bless you, and congratulations."
These were beautiful people, people of God. These were the
kind of people I wanted to be like.
During the service, the Imam amazingly gave his speech about
Satan's whisperings into the hearts of men in the attempt to
lead them away from the Light. It left me in utter shock. The
brother was talking to me about this in the car, and by an
amazing coincidence, the Imam thought it was best that day to
talk about Satan's whispers. This, I believe, was God getting
His Message across to me, telling me to ignore Satan. I could
not wait to declare the Shahada, and when the time came after
the service, I rushed up to the front.
After publicly declaring my Islam, I think that every Muslim
brother present that day came and hugged me. There were at
least a few hundred brothers present, so you can imagine how
many hugs I received. They congratulated me and said,
"God bless you, you made the right choice."
Two forces were at work that day: Satan and God. But God's
force was too powerful for me to resist, and so I submitted to
Him in Islam. The brother told me that the greatest gift that
God gives to us in this world is Islam. This gift I shall keep
for the rest of my life, God willing (in sha' Allah). He also
told me that he never went to a Friday service where the Imam
talked purely about Satan's whispers. He said that the subject
was mentioned occasionally, but it almost never actually made
up an entire service.
I pray that my story helps those who go through the same
mental struggle that I had with Satan. My experience is so
amazing to me that I cannot truly describe it in words. I pray
that those who read this will be able to overcome Satan as I
was able to that day. Remember, Satan only whispers to the
heart, but God shouts to the heart. It was God's shout that
brought me to Him in Islam.
As-salaam
`alaikum. May God guide you as he guided me.
Editor's
Note: Anthony accepted Islam on September 19, 2003. He now goes by the Muslim name Talib Abdul Hamid. He adds,
"Right now I'm learning Arabic and studying Tafseer
[Qur'anic exegesis]. Since I took Shahada, my life went in a
different direction, a positive direction, and I can only
thank God for it."
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