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 When
I am asked how I became a Muslim I always reply that I always felt
myself to be a believer in the ONE AND ONLY, yet I first realized
what that meant when I heard about a religion called Islam, and a
book called Qur’an.
But
let me first start with a brief synopsis of my American
overwhelmingly traditional Irish Catholic background.
Catholic
I was Indeed
My
dad left the seminary after a three-year stint to train as a
missionary. He was the oldest of thirteen children, all born and
raised in the Boston area. Two of his sisters became nuns, as was
his aunt on his mother’s side. My dad’s younger brother was also
in the seminary and quit after 9 years, just before taking his final
vows. My grandmother would wake at dawn to dress and climb the hill
to the local church for early morning mass while the rest of the
house was sleeping. I remember her as being a very stern, kind, fair
strong woman, and rather deep, unusual for those days. I’m certain
she never heard mention of Islam, and may Allah judge her as to the
beliefs she held in her heart. Many who never heard of Islam pray to
the One by instinct although they have inherited labels of various
denominations from their ancestors.
I
was enrolled in a Catholic nursery school at the age of four and
spent the next 12 years of my life surrounded by heavy doses of
trinity indoctrination. Crosses were everywhere, all day long - on
the nuns themselves, on the walls of the classroom, in church which
we attended almost daily, and in almost every room of my house. Not
to mention the statues and holy pictures - everywhere you looked
there was baby Jesus and his mother Mary - sometimes happy,
sometimes sad, yet always classically white and Anglo featured.
Various and sundry angels and saints pictures would make their
appearances, depending on the holyday approaching.
I
have vivid memories picking lilacs and lilies of the valley from our
yard to make bouquets which I placed in the vase at the base of the
largest Mother Mary statue in the upstairs hallway next to my
bedroom. There I would kneel and pray, enjoying the pleasant scent
of the freshly picked flowers and serenely contemplating on how
lovely was Mary’s long flowing chestnut hair. I can unequivocally
state that I never once prayed TO HER or felt that she had any
powers to help me. The same was true when I would hold my rosary
beads at night in bed. I repeated the ritual supplications of the
Our Father and the Hail Mary and the Glory be to the Father and to
the Son and to the Holy Spirit, all the while looking upward and
saying with my true heart—I know its only You, one almighty
You-I’m just saying this stuff because it’s all I ever learned.
On
my twelfth birthday my mom gave me a Bible. As Catholics we were not
encouraged to read anything except our Baltimore Catechism,
sanctioned by the Vatican. Any comparative introspection was denied
and disparaged. Yet I fervently read, seeking to know what I hoped
would be a story from and about my creator. I got even more
confused. This book was obviously the work of men, convoluted and
difficult to grasp. Yet, once again, that’s all that was
available.
My
prior faithful church attendance dropped off in my mid teens as was
the norm for my generation, and by the time I reached my twenties I
had basically no formal religion. I read a lot on Buddhism, Hinduism
and even tried out the local Baptist church for a few months. They
were not enough to hold my attention, the former too exotic and the
latter too provincial. Yet all thru the years of not formally
practicing, a day never passed when I didn’t “talk to god”
especially as I fell asleep I would always say thanks for all my
blessings and seek help for any problems I was experiencing. It was
always the same certain ONE AND ONLY whom I was addressing, sure He
was listening and confident of His love and care. No one ever taught
me anything about this; it was pure instinct.
The
Others
It
was in my preparation for my master’s degree that I first heard of
the Qur’an. Up until then, as most Americans, I knew only of
“the Arabs” as mysterious, dark predators out to plunder our
civilization. Islam was never mentioned-only the surly, dirty Arabs,
camels and tents in the desert. As a child in religion class I often
wondered who were the other people? Jesus walked in Caana and
Galilee and Nazareth but he had blue eyes—who were the other
people? I had a sense that there was a missing link somewhere. In
1967 during the Arab-Israeli war we all got our first glimpse of the
other people, and they were clearly viewed by most as the enemy. But
for me, I liked them, and for no apparent reason. I cannot to this
day explain it except to now realize that they were my Muslim
brothers.
I
was about 35 when I read my first page of Qur’an. I opened it with
the intention of a casual browse to get acquainted with the religion
of the inhabitants of the region I was majoring in for my Master’s
Degree. Allah caused the book to fall open to Surat al-Mu’minun
(The Believers) verses 52-54:
{Verily,
this your nation is one nation and I am your Lord so keep your duty
to Me. But they broke up their command into sects, each one
rejoicing in its belief. So leave them in their error until a time}.
(Qur’an, Al-Mu’minun, 52-54)
From
the first reading I knew that this was certain truth- clear and
forceful, revealing the essence of all humanity and verifying all I
had studied as a History major. Humanity’s pathetic rejection of
the truth, their unceasing vain competition to be special and their
neglectfulness of the purpose for their very existence all set
forward in a few words. Nation states, nationalities, cultures,
languages- all feeling superior when in fact all these identities
mask the only reality which we ought to rejoice in sharing- that is
to serve one master, THE ONE Who created everything and Who owns
everything.
I
Still Love Jesus and Mary
As
a child I used to say the phrase “Holy Mary, mother of God, pray
for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen” found in
the prayer “Hail Mary”. I now see how much Mary has been
maligned by the misrepresentation of her as the mother of the
godhead. It is quite enough to view her as chosen above all women to
bear the great prophet Jesus by the Virgin Birth. My mom would often
defend her constant pleas for Mary’s help by explaining that she
too was a mother and understood a mother’s sorrows. It would be
far more useful for my mom and all others to contemplate how the
most pure Mary was slandered by the Jews of her time and accused of
a most despicable sin, that of fornication. Mary bore all of this,
knowing that she would be vindicated by the Almighty, and that she
would be given the strength to bear all of their calumnies.
This
recognition of Mary’s faith and trust in Allah’s mercy will
allow one to recognize her most exalted position among women, and at
the same time remove the slander of calling her the mother of god
which is an even worse accusation than that of the Jews of her time.
As a Muslim you may love Mary and Jesus, but to love Allah more will
gain you the Paradise, as He is the One whose rules you must obey.
He will judge you on a day when no one else can help you. He created
you, and Jesus, and his blessed mother Mary as He created Muhammad.
All died or will die-Allah never dies.
Jesus
(`Isa in Arabic) never once claimed to be the godhead. Rather, he
repeatedly referred to himself as being sent. As I look back on the
confusion I experienced in my youth, its root lay in the church’s
claim that Jesus was more than he himself admitted. The church
fathers formulated a doctrine to invent the concept of Trinity. It
is this confused rendering of the original Torah and Injil
[Gospel] (scriptures given to Moses and Jesus) which is at the core
of the issue of Trinity.
In
honest fact it is enough to simply state that Jesus was a prophet,
yes, a messenger who came with the word of the One Who sent him. If
we view Jesus in this correct light, it’s easy to then accept
Muhammad as his younger brother who came with the very same mission-
to call all to the worship of the Almighty ONE, Who created
everything and to whom we shall all return. It is of no consequence
whatsoever to debate their physical features. Arab, Jew, Caucausian,
blue or brown eyes, long or short hair -all totally irrelevant as to
their importance as bearers of the message. Whenever I think of
Jesus now, after knowing about Islam, I feel that connectedness
which one feels in a happy family -a family of believers. You see
Jesus was a “Muslim”, one who submits to his Lord above.
The
first of the “Ten Commandments” state:
1.
I am the lord thy god, thou shalt not have false gods before me.
2.
Thou shalt not take the name of the lord thy god in vain.
Anyone
who knows the correct meaning of “la ilah ila Allah”
(there is no god but Allah) will immediately recognize the
similarity in this testimony. Then we can really start to bring
together the real story of all the prophets and put an end to the
distortions.
{And
they said the Most Merciful has taken a son. Indeed you have brought
forth a terrible evil thing. Whereby the heavens are almost torn,
and the earth split asunder, and the mountains fall in ruins}. (Qur’an, Maryam (Mary) 88-90)
My
Journey to Islam
It
took three full years of my searching and studying Qur’an before I
was ready to proclaim that I wanted to be a Muslim. Of course I
feared the changes in clothing and habits such as dating and
drinking to which I had become accustomed. Music and dancing were a
big part of my life, and bikinis and mini skirts were my claim to
fame. All the while I had no chance to encounter any Muslims as
there were none in my area except a few immigrants who could barely
speak English an hour’s drive away at the only mosque in the state
at that time. When I would go to Friday Prayer, to try and check out
what I was considering, I would receive furtive glances as I was
perhaps suspected of being a spy as was the case, and still is, in
most Islamic gatherings. There was not a single Muslim American
available to help me and, as I said, all the immigrant population
were rather chilly to say the least.
In
the midst of this phase of my life, my dad died of cancer. I was at
his bedside and literally witnessed the angel of death remove his
soul. He was gripped by fear as tears rolled down his cheeks. A life
of luxury, yachts, country clubs, expensive cars years for both him
and mom, all a result of interest income, and now its all over.
I
felt a sudden desire to enter Islam quickly, while there was still
time, and to change my ways and not to continue blindly seeking what
I had been raised to believe to be the good life. Shortly thereafter
I came to Egypt and involved a long slow journey through the miracle
of the Arabic language and the discovery of the clear truth -Allah
is One, the Everlasting Eternal; Who never was born or gave birth
and there is nothing at all like Him.
It
is also the resulting equality between humans that attracted me most
to that religion. The Prophet Muhammad said that people are like
teeth of a comb -all equal- the best being the most pious. In
Qur’an we are told that the best are the pious ones. Piety
involves love of and fear of Allah alone. Yet before you can really
be pious you must learn who Allah is. And to know Him is to love
Him. I started learning Arabic to read the word of Allah in Arabic
as it was revealed.
Learning
Qur’an has changed every facet of my life. I no longer wish to
have any earthly luxuries, neither cars nor clothes nor trips can
lure me into that web of vain desires which I was so caught up in
before. I do enjoy a fairly good life of a believer but as they
say… it is no longer embedded in the heart...only at hand. I
don’t fear the loss of my former friends or relatives -if Allah
chooses to bring them close then so be it, but I know that Allah
gives me exactly what I need, no more- no less. I don’t feel
anxious or sad anymore, nor do I feel regret at what has passed me
by. Because I’m safe in the care of Allah -THE ONE AND ONLY whom I
always knew but didn’t know His name.
A
Prayer For America
I
pray to Almighty Allah to allow each and every American the
opportunity to receive the message of Tawhid (Oneness of
Allah (God)) in a simple, straightforward fashion. America is not
Satan, nor are most of its inhabitants “Kafirs” (covering
the truth while knowing it) as so many try to claim. Americans are
for the most part grossly uninformed in regards to correct Islamic
theology. The stress is almost always on politics, which focuses on
the deeds of men. Its high time we concentrated on the deeds of the
prophets who all came to lead us out of the darkness and into the
light. There is no doubt that darkness is prevailing in the malaise
affecting America now. The light of truth will serve us all, and
whether or not one chooses to follow the Islamic path, there is no
doubt that the blocking of it or the hindering of others from
following it will surely lead to further misery. I care very much
for the healthy future of my country, and I’m quite certain that
learning more about Islam will enhance the chances of my hopes being
fulfilled.
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