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Why
did I accept Islam? This is a question that I have been asked
many times by others, and a question that I have asked myself
many times. Firstly, it was the Will of God because it is He
that changes hearts and guides someone to a way that is
straight! Secondly, because I was looking for the truth, the
real truth and nothing but the truth! Thirdly, because there
were doctrinal elements in my previous religion of
Christianity that at first hearing seemed acceptable but when
reflected, analyzed, and prayed upon, proved to be not only
unacceptable but also contradictory, inconsistent, and even
blasphemous! But why ISLAM? Why, when I was looking for the
real and whole truth did God guide me to Islam and not to one
of many religions available to man or just another branch of
Christianity? The answer to this important question was to
unfold as I took my first steps towards my spiritual quest.
The
basic seed of God-consciousness was implanted in me from
birth, but my soul was molded to the teachings of the
Christian church. My religious upbringing was never something
that was forced, nor was it just occasional or just habitual.
It seemed to be a natural and essential part of the fiber of
my family. One of my fondest childhood memories till this day
is of my mother reading me Bible stories every Sunday. But
when I reached my teens and especially when I entered college,
that spiritual nurturing became tainted more and more.
The
college scene is where most people of religious background
either completely abandon that upbringing or like in my case,
just put it on pause. It's really hard not to when you are
surrounded by co-ed dorms, open promiscuity, easy access to
alcohol, 24 hour parties, and curfew-free nights. There
weren't any churches around campus that I was interested in so
my Sundays began to feel like any other day of the week. While
in college experienced many things and learned many lessons of
life but one particular experience had brought me right to the
edge of cliff of death! The situation was so unexpected so
shocking, so overwhelming, that I honestly felt that the only
solution was suicide. It took someone whom I had known for
just a little while, breaking down and crying when he realized
what I was about to do, for me to just pause and think. I
thought that something was truly wrong if this guy had a
higher value for my life than I did. As I stood there, I never
felt so empty in my life. There was the big void where my soul
was supposed to be and I felt like Moses (pbuh) and his
followers being chased by the enemy from all sides only to be
confronted by the impassable Red Sea! I realized that it was
time to make the call they had made. The call of faith-the
call of God!
I
decided to return to the church of my youth, a Baptist church
in Washington D.C. I heard that there was a new pastor
preaching there that was thorough and I decided to try him
out. Praise God, the preacher was young, dynamic, and
effective. He really made the Bible come to life in his
sermons and made living for God seem real and worthwhile.
Coming from the position of a person who was ready to kill
himself, these messages were beginning to fill my emptiness
and make me want to live and give life another chance. I
remember the nervous excitement of accepting the call to new
membership at church and the newness and freshness of being
dipped into the water at my baptismal ceremony. I felt reborn!
Clean! With the lips I accepted Jesus (pbuh) as my "lord
and savior" but deep down in my heart, I was just
reaccepting the reality of God in my life! As I went deeper in
my walk of faith the problem that had almost caused me to slay
myself vanished like an illusion! Life was only there to make
me turn to my Creator! This gave me a new drive, motivation,
and a sense of purpose. I became very active to the extent of
encouraging a few of my friends to join the church. I would
watch and listen to the pastor in awe, daydreaming of becoming
one myself. I honestly felt that the best thing to do for a
living would be to help people turn to God. Something that had
proven to be so successful in my life. But at the same time I
was always very open-minded, especially when it came to
spiritual truth, I think this is what made me a vessel to
receive the full truth, in Islam.
After
a while I began a private hobby of studying world religions.
The first book I read, "The Religion of Man", was
actually one that I had borrowed from a friend. The first
chapter I read was the chapter on Islam and it was a
tremendous surprise! It began with a little Arabian history
and a biography of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)followed by an
explanation of the basic tenants and doctrines of Islam. I
could not believe the similarity and relationship that it had
with Christianity. It wasn't some foreign religion made up by
some foreign man who worshipped some foreign God. It was the
true Abrahamaic (pbuh) religion, revealed through a man whose
very lineage traced back to Abraham's (pbuh) first son Ishmael
(pbuh) who worshipped the same one true God. This further fed
my curiosity and interest in Islam. I had decided to keep
myself open so I also read the history and doctrines of
Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Native American spirituality, and
other smaller religious sects, cults, and movements. Buddhism
seemed to renounce the world too much yet was not clear on the
afterlife. In Hinduism the worship seemed too loose and
unfocused with it's great deity residing in many reforms,
Judaism seemed basically true but had had too much of a racial
bias, and Native American to vary by the tribe. Islam was the
only one whose theology and practices seemed truly universal.
The information that I had gathered so far was not enough to
make me want to change my religion but that was soon to change
when I came into contact with the Qur'an!
I
was working at a music store where a young woman used to come
to the store with whom I used to have general conversations
and on one occasion happened to bring up the topic of Islam. I
then found that she was a Muslim and she told me that I could
get more information on Islam at a little session that her
father helped teach with some other Muslim. I was both nervous
and excited at my first visit but it was my first time being
around real Muslim! I was initially impressed by the racial
variety, the simple environment, and the warm humbleness of
the attendants. They answered a few basic questions of mine
but I was there mostly to listen. When it was prayer time, I
quietly watched from a distance with a smile. Seeing all the
men, women, and children bow in unison and put their faces
flat against the ground in prayer seemed a little strange and
funny, yet so humble, so unified, and so natural. It seemed
like this was the ultimate way that we as God's creations were
supposed to pray. I recalled in my mind accounts in Bible of
other prophets like Abraham, Moses, and Jesus (pbuh), throwing
themselves to the ground in humility and prayer to God yet
this is not the way we prayed in church as
"Christians", but the Muslims did! Jesus (pbuh) told
us to greet each other by saying "Peace be with
you", yet we Christians didn't do this. It was the
Muslims who greeted each other saying "As-Salaamu
Alaikum" which means "Peace be with you". In
Christianity only "orthodox" nuns covered their
heads and bodies, but this was a standard practice of modesty,
chastity and humbleness for millions of practicing Muslim
women who were interactive members of the society. It wasn't
something reserved for the "orthodox". I left that
little session engulfed in a maze of thoughts.
When
I saw my Muslim friend at the music store again I thanked her
and told her how wonderful it was and that I was sure to
return. She then asked me if I had a Qur’an yet. I said
"No". I thought that the Qur’an was only in a
foreign language and that I couldn't read it but she said that
she would give me an English translations from the original
Arabic. I gladly accepted the offer and was even more excited
when I received it! "WOW! My first real Qur’an". I
couldn't wait to start reading it. The first thing I did was
to look up Jesus(pbuh) in the index and look up every verse it
listed under his name. This was the prophet that I was raised
on and was dear to me so I had to know what God had revealed
in this book about him. If it degraded, ridiculed, or rejected
him in any way I was going to close the book and leave Islam
alone. I agreed when I read that God was not three in one but
one in an exclusive and unique sense. I agreed even when I
read that Jesus (pbuh) was born of a virgin but was not God's
"Son". When I was studying idioms in ancient Hebrew
and other Semitic languages "Son" meant nearness and
was used in the old testament in reference to other people and
prophets, the term "Son of God" meant one who was
near and closely attached to God, as the term "Son of
man" meant one near and close to man. Incidentally, the
use of the term "Son of man" outnumbers the use of
the term "Son of God" in reference to Jesus (pbuh).
Even thought, in the Qur’an Jesus (pbuh) was always referred
to as the "Son of Mary". God revealed that the birth
of Jesus (pbuh) was like that of Adam (pbuh)-He merely said
"BE" and "He was", and Adam had neither a
physical father or mother and no one worshipped him as the
"Only Begotten Son of God"! I agreed when I read
that Jesus(pbuh) was not God in human form but a human prophet
that was created by God, sent by God and who himself needed,
depended on, feared, and prayed to God. I agreed when I read
that the Jews had no victory in killing him and that God
raised him to Himself. But when I read that they also did not
crucify him I was in shock! The impact of the 157th verse in
the 4th chapter of the Qur’an1 was to dramatically change my
life from that point on!
I'm
not one to just accept something right away or to just reject
something right away. I investigate. In the day I would
reflect on that one verse, and at night I would pray over it.
I would beg God in tears to show me in a dream what actually
happened in detail to Jesus (pbuh) if he was not crucified.
What was real? What was false? I wanted to know badly. I was
looking hard. Examining, searching, debating. The soul was the
most important thing in the world to me and mine was on a
quest. I always wanted to know my Creator and serve my Creator
but I wanted to make sure that I knew Him the right way and I
wasn't going to let up until I found what I felt was the right
path.
When
I finally stopped waiting for that big dream and asked myself
"Well, what does this word crucifixion mean for the
Christian?". For the Christian this word meant salvation!
Salvation meaning the deliverance from the penalty of sin
which was spiritual death in Hell. It also meant success in
this life and the next. To me this is the vital thing that
religion must give man or else it is useless. To say that if
Jesus (pbuh) was not crucified, there's no way that God
Almighty could forgive His beloved mankind did not sound
right. Jesus(pbuh) was very dear to my heart and to think that
the Loving, Forgiving Do sent him on earth only to be murdered
for an innumerable mass of sins that he himself never
committed did not seem fair or even sensible. If God could
create the whole universe by saying "Be" and
"IT WAS" then why couldn't He do the Same for the
tiny little sinner who is admitting his guilt and asking Him
for forgiveness? Why couldn't He say to the person "Be
forgiven" and he or she is forgiven? Why was the murder
and blood of an innocent man a necessity for this forgiveness?
I said to myself, "If this book can map out a plan of
salvation that has nothing to do with murder or blood then I
will submit to God and His plan".
This
made me deeply review my Bible and try to find what was
essential necessity for salvation. The Jews and the Muslims
never put anything in between them and their prayer to God so
why did the Christians? There was nothing in between Adam and
God, or Abraham and God, or Moses and God, or David and God,
or Jesus and God! God had taught through the Bible that a
person was individually responsible for his sins and that no
one else could pay for or be penalized for them. Jesus(pbuh)
was preaching repentance and telling people that their sins
were forgiven before this supposed crucifixion! So why all of
a sudden was the blood of one martyr necessary for humanity to
be forgiven? This issue of sacrifice, blood, and forgiveness
seemed to be summed up in just a few verses in the Holy
Qur’an.
Concerning
sacrifice chapter 22:37, had the answer, "It is not their
meant nor their blood that reaches God, it is your piety that
reached Him. He has made them(animals) subject to you, that
you may glorify God for His guidance to you". Concerning
sin and forgiveness God revealed in chapter 12:87, "No
one despairs of God's mercy except those who have no
faith". Also, in chapter 39:53 "do not despair of
God's mercy for God forgives all sins. He is indeed OFTEN
Forgiving and Most Merciful". I found exacting parallels
in the Bible in Psalms 30:5, 32:5, 62:1-2, 1st Samuel
15"22-23, Luke 15:7-10, Ezechiel 18:20-35, Isaiah 12:2-3,
and Luke 7:47-50, 10:25, 18:24, and many others if you just
look them up and reflect. When I read in the Qur’an [O
mankind! There has come to you a direction from you Lord and a
healing for the diseases in your herats-and for those who
believe, A Guidance and a Mercy!" I said to myself
"This is it. This IS THE WORD OF GOD!!]
(Yunus 10:57)
My
Muslim Friend from the music store had shown me a mosque that
to my surprise was 10 minutes away from my home! On my second
visit to the mosque, I declared my faith in 1994 and stated
that "There is no God worthy to be worshipped except the
ONE, Most High God or Allah. That Muhammad (pbuh) is His Last
Messenger to mankind. That the Qur’an is the last revealed
and written will and testament of Allah to and for mankind to
follow until the Day of Judgment". I had finally come
home and found peace! As I gradually built my faith and
practice in ISLAM, I found that Islam was not the religion of
killers and terrorists! It is the true religion of humankind,
nature and all creatures seen and unseen. Islam is by name the
religion of those who seek peace and success through obedience
and submission to the will of Allah! I had found the path to
success, the path to true salvation! Allah in the revelation
of the Qur’an has refocused all forms of worship, prayer,
fear and thanks to Him and Him alone! You are High, Lord of
all creations, and has reminded mankind and all creations of
their true place-dependent and subservient to Allah and Allah
alone!
Editors
note: [And
their saying: Surely we have killed the Messiah, Isa son of
Marium, the messenger of Allah; and they did not kill him nor
did they crucify him, but it appeared to them so (like Isa)
and most surely those who differ therein are only in a doubt
about it; they have no knowledge respecting it, but only
follow a conjecture, and they killed him not for sure.]
(An-Nisaa’ 4:157) |
