|
About
five years ago,
I was fifty-two years old and a Christian. I had not become a
member of any Christian church, but all my life I had been
searching for the truth. I attended many churches and studied
with their teachers. All fell short and I recognized none as
being the truth about Allah. Since I was nine years old, I had
read the Bible everyday of my life. I cannot tell you, over
the many years, how many times I searched it for the truth.
During
the long years of my search for the truth, I studied with many
religious faiths. For over a year I studied two times a week
with a Catholic priest, but could not accept Catholic beliefs.
I spent another year studying with the Jehovah Witnesses and
did not accept their beliefs either. I spent nearly two years
with the LDS (Latter-Day Saints, i.e. the Mormons) and still
did not find truth. I had a Jewish friend and we had many
discussions about the Jewish beliefs. I went to many
Protestant churches, some for months at a time, trying to find
answers to my questions.
My
heart told me Jesus was not God but a Prophet. My heart told
me Adam and Eve were responsible for their sin, not me. My
heart told me I should pray to God and no other. My reason
told me that I was responsible for both my good and bad deeds
and that God would never assume the form of a man in order to
tell me that I was not responsible. He had no need to live and
die as a human; after all, He is God.
So
there I was, full of questions and praying to God for help. I
had a real fear of dying and not knowing the truth. I prayed
and I prayed. I received answers from preachers and priests
like, “This is a mystery.” I felt that God wanted people
to go to heaven so He wouldn't make it a mystery as to how to
get there, how to live life accordingly, and how to understand
Him. I knew in my heart that all that I was hearing was untrue.
I
live in Arizona, USA and at the age of fifty-two had still
never talked to a Muslim. I, like many Westerners, had read
much in the media
about Islam being a fanatical religion of terrorists, so I
never researched any books or information about Islam. I knew
nothing about the religion.
My
Discovery
About
four years ago, I retired after twenty-four years as a police
officer. My husband also retired as a police officer. The year
before my retirement I was still a police sergeant/supervisor.
Police officers worldwide have a common bond, which we call a
law-enforcement brother-sisterhood. We always help one anther
no matter what police department or country.
That
year I received a flyer asking for help with a group of Saudi
Arabian police officers who had come to the United States to
learn English at a local University and attend a police
academy in the city that I live in. The Saudi police officers
were looking for homes to live in with host families in order
to learn about US customs and to practice the English that
they would be learning.
My
son is raising my granddaughter as a single parent. We helped
him to find a house next to ours so that we could help in
raising her. I talked to my husband and we decided that it
would be good to help these police officers. It would be an
opportunity for our granddaughter to learn about people from
another country. I was told that the young men were Muslims
and I was very curious.
An
Arizona State University Saudi interpreter brought a young man
named Abdul to meet us. He could speak no English. We showed
him a bedroom and bathroom, which would be his when he stayed
with us. I liked Abdul immediately. His respectful and kind
manner won my heart!
I
grew to love these young men, and they told me that I was the first
non-Muslim they had ever taught Islam to… |
|
Next
Fahd was brought to our home. He was younger and shyer, but a wonderful young
man. I became their tutor and we shared many discussions about
police work, the USA, Saudi Arabia, Islam, etc. I observed how
they helped each other and
also the other sixteen Saudi police officers who came to the USA
to learn English. During the year they were here, I
came to respect and admire Fahd and Abdul for not letting the American culture have any impact
on them. They went to mosque on Fridays, said their prayers no
matter how tired they were, and were always careful of what
they ate, etc. They showed me how to cook some traditional
Saudi foods and they took me to Arab markets and restaurants.
They were very kind with my granddaughter. They showered her
with presents, jokes and friendship.
They
treated my husband and me with much respect. Each day, they
would call to see if I needed them to go to market for me
before they went to study with their fellow Saudi officers. I
showed them how to use the computer, and I ordered Arab papers
online and began to search the Internet to learn more about
them, their customs and religion. I did not want to do things
that would offend them.
One
day, I asked them if they had an extra Qur'an. I wanted to
read what it had to say. They sent to their embassy in
Washington DC and they got me an English Qur'an, tapes, and
other pamphlets. At my request, we began to discuss Islam
(they had to speak English and this became the focus of our
tutoring sessions). I grew to love these young men, and they
told me that I was the first non-Muslim they had ever taught
Islam to! After a year, they completed their studies and
training at the police academy. I was able to help them with
their police studies, as I had been a police instructor during
my career as a police officer. I invited many of their
brother-officers to the house to help with university projects
and to practice English. One brother had his wife come to stay
here in the US, and I was invited to their home. They were
very gracious and I was able to talk to his wife about Muslim
dress, prayer ablutions, and similar things.
A
week before "my foster sons" were to return home to
Saudi Arabia, I planned a family dinner with all their
favorite traditional foods (I bought some because I didn’t
know how to cook all of them). I purchased a hijab and an abaya
(long Islamic gown). I wanted them to go home remembering me
dressed appropriately as a Muslim sister. Before we ate, I
said the Shahadah (public declaration of faith). The
boys cried and laughed and it was so special. I believe in my
heart that Allah sent the boys to me in answer to my years of
prayers. I believe He chose me to see the truth by the light
of Islam. I believe Allah sent Islam to my very home. I praise
Him for His mercy, love and kindness to me.
My
Journey in Islam
My
Saudi boys returned to their homeland about a week after my
reversion. I missed them greatly,
but was still happy. I had joined the local mosque as a member
almost immediately after my reversion and registered myself as
a Muslim. I was anticipating a warm welcome from my new Muslim
community. I thought all Muslims were like my Saudi boys and
the other young Saudi officers whom I had met and spent time
with during the previous year.
My
family was still in a state of shock! They thought I would
stick with this new religion for a while, become disgruntled,
and move on to another religion as I had done all my adult
life. They were surprised at the changes that I began to make
in my daily life. My husband is a congenial man, so when I
said that we were going to be eating halal foods and
eliminating haram (forbidden) foods, he said, “Okay.”
My
next change was removing pictures of people and animals from
the rooms in the house. One day my husband came home from work
to find me placing family pictures that had once hung on the
walls in our home, in large, handsomely-bound photo albums. He
watched and didn’t comment.
Next
I wrote a letter to my non-Muslim family telling them about my
reversion and how it would and wouldn’t change our family
relationships. I explained a few of the basics of Islam. Still
my family kept their own counsel, and I continued to work on
learning prayer and reading my Qur’an. I got active in
sister groups on the Internet and this facilitated my learning
about my new beliefs.
I
also attended a “Fundamentals of Islam” class at the
mosque when I could get away from my work. I was still a state
police sergeant and it was difficult – no, impossible to
cover. This became a source of real discontent and concern for
me. Just eight months and I could retire,
so I asked for and was granted the right to telecommute
from my home three days a week doing planning and research
projects.
After
the first six months had passed, sisters at the mosque that I
attended still hadn’t warmed up to me. I was disappointed. I
began to feel like an outsider. I was puzzled and concerned. I
tried to become active in community services with a few
sisters who had been friendly towards me. I looked for the
kindness, friendship, and best of manners that were practiced
each and every day by my Saudi boys. I made many mistakes at
the mosque, such as talking in the prayer room as I tried to
get up and down from the floor. I went to a community
celebration and ate with my left hand; I wore clear nail
polish on my trimmed nails and got scolded. I did wudu
(ablutions) incorrectly and was frowned at. I became very
discouraged.
Then
one day I received a package in the mail from a sister-friend
who I had met on the Internet. In the package were several
abayas, hijabs, silk stockings, and a warm and friendly note
welcoming me as her sister in Islam. She lives in Kuwait. Next
a dear sister sent me a prayer robe and prayer rug she had
hand-made herself. This dear sister lives in Saudi Arabia. I
got an email that had a statement that I always remember at
times when I get that “outsider” feeling. The note said:
“I am glad that I became Muslim before I met many
Muslims.” This
is not an insult. It was a reminder that Islam is perfect and
it is we Muslims who are imperfect. Just as I have
shortcomings, so may my sisters and brothers. I also began to
understand what I personally believe to be one of the greatest
gifts that Allah gave to the Muslims: the sister and
brotherhood in Islam.
Over
the past four years my life has changed dramatically. My
family has come to accept with generosity and tolerance that I
am Muslim and will remain Muslim. All thanks be to Allah for
sparing me the trials of so many reverts who must deal with
beloved family who strive to dissuade them from Islam.
My
journey in Islam will continue, and I look forward to many new
experiences. |
|
Gradually,
I made some sister friends locally and by cyber space, dozens
of sister friends became my Muslim family bringing me
support, love and friendship. It was close to my first year as
a Muslim that I became ill with a series of life-threatening
diseases. I clung tight to the rope of Islam and was grateful
for the black seed tea and ZamZam water that my sister-friends
sent me from around the world along with their daily du`aa’
(supplications).
As
my health continued to fail and I grew weaker physically, I
had to discontinue community service work and became more
isolated from the local Muslim community. I continued to work
hard on my prayer, having great difficulty with the Arabic
pronunciation but not giving up. My Islamic teacher made some
cassette tapes, and a sister brought them to my home to help
me. After two years, I had learned to recite four Surahs
(chapters) of the Qur’an. This may seem like a small number
to most Muslims, but for me it was a very big accomplishment.
I set about learning the words for the other parts of prayer;
another two years of struggle.
During
the early part of my third year as a Muslim, I suffered a
heart attack and had heart surgery. It was a sad time for me,
as I knew that I would never again touch my head to the floor
when praying,
but would forever have to sit in my chair and pray. It was at
this time that I truly understood the provision from Allah
that Islam is the religion of ease. Praying while seated in a
chair is acceptable; not fasting when one is sick is
acceptable. I did not have to feel that I was less a Muslim
because of these circumstances.
After
visiting several mosques and observing that they were like
mini United Nations, I began to see that the small groups
within the mosque were mostly formed because of language and
culture and not because of liking or disliking any person. I
felt good that regardless of these differences, I could always
count on a smile and an “As-Salaam’
Alaykum!”
After
a while, I began to gravitate towards sisters who are reverts
to Islam like me. We have much in common – we experience
many of the same trials, such as non-Muslim family members,
difficulty pronouncing Arabic, being lonely on Muslim
holidays, and not having a family member to break fast with
during Ramadan. Sometimes our reversions meant losing
life-long friends who just couldn’t accept our new habits, or
it was because of our discontinuance of activities
common to non-Muslims, such as dancing and mixing in groups.
As
I grew less able to do community services, I searched for some
way to contribute to the greater Muslim community. I
continually asked Allah for His help in this. One day, my
young granddaughter suggested that I write books about my
Saudi boys, Islam, and my family’s experience with Islam. I decided to write the books and also include stories about a group of
young girls, both Muslim and non-Muslim, who were friends. The
stories would include the young girls’ problems encountered
at school and at home and I would use my knowledge of Islam as
a guide for these book characters.
I
began writing a book series that I called Islamic Rose Books.
I created an e-group for sister authors and aspiring writers
and this developed into the creation of the Islamic Writers
Alliance. The Alliance is an international organization
created to provide support for female Muslim authors and
aspiring writers. Our main goal is to help each other promote
our works to readers and publishers. I also decided to help
two Muslim food banks by creating databases that help them to
track their inventory, clients, and contacts and to create
reports necessary for funding purposes. I
decided that I would spend a large portion of my profits from
book sales to buy books for Islamic children’s libraries. I
have discovered that many such libraries have lots of empty
shelves where Islamic books belong.
I
still have much to learn about Islam. I never tire of reading
the Qur’an and one of my favorite pastimes is reading about
prominent, historical Islamic figures. When I am unsure about
something in Islam, I look to the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace
be upon him). I see how he responded to situations and use
this as my guide. My journey in Islam will continue, and I
look forward to many new experiences. I thank Allah daily for
His Mercy and Love.
Linda
Delgado is a Muslim,
lives in Arizona, is married, and has three children and eight
grandchildren. Mrs. Delgado is a graduate of the University of
Phoenix and is a retired State Police Sergeant. She is also
the Director of the Islamic Writers Alliance www.islamicwritersalliance.net
and author of Islamic Rose Books. www.widad-lld.com.
|
