Don’t Kick the Bucket

Have you ever just sat down and looked back at your life? Have you ever put the whole picture together and observed how events and situations gathered together to form you as you are right here and now? What a marvelous mosaic of time, people, events, decisions…….

Such times come to all of us – times of contemplation; a flashback; a word from a friend; all arouses memories that form like clouds raining wisdom and insight upon our hearts. But the question is, do we like what we see? Do you like yourself?

Perhaps we don’t necessarily like all the things that have happened to us; perhaps we don’t like all the people we’ve met but the proof of the pudding is in the eating right? So, how are you right now? How do you see yourself as the product of all you have said, thought, done, decided, experienced.. ?

When such imaginative pictures come across our minds and we get to see our lives in context, do we feel grateful to Allah for what we have? Are we grateful for the fact that we have been granted the gift of life? Are we grateful for all those seemingly negative situations and events that have somehow, by the Mercy of Allah, been transformed into goodness and wisdom? Are we wise? Well, if we are not wise and yet we have undergone hardship and many of life’s lessons, then there is certainly something missing? Is the missing factor in life, or….. in ourselves?

How often have we done a lot of good things and yes, these things will be the first things to come to mind when we are asked about our life’s events. We will say, ‘Well I did that for him and this for her and I got no thanks….I said the right thing…..I intended something good…. I DID do that!’ But what happened then? If we really DID do and say all those good things, how come we don’t like what we see right now? If we say good, do good, intend good, we should be…….good, right?

And if we are good, truly good, we will like ourselves, because the essence of inner happiness is found in peace and harmony and that can only be achieved by having the characteristics of piety. So the answer seems to be, that if you don’t like yourself, chances are, you either:

• Miscalculate yourself, your abilities, your good deeds

• Need to be more ‘good’ and learn more from life’s lessons and put that wisdom into practice

• Listen to the opinions of others, concerning yourself, and those opinions are not necessarily correct so you end up being deluded by yourself and others. Doesn’t sound like the way to self-development, does it?

My old granny told me a story long ago about a cow, and that story seems to fit into our discussion here. Now this cow was famous, why? She gave the best and the most milk in the whole area, but that wasn’t where her fame ended. No! She did something special after she gave the milk that made her truly well-known but not respected, not liked, and no one wanted to own her.  What did she do? Well, after giving a pail of rich, life-giving milk, she would turn her head and look at it, take in a deep breath and swing her tail and then whammy! She would kick that bucket of milk right over and send its contents splashing all over the place.

By worldly standards my old granny was not very educated you see, but she had a lot of wisdom. She was one of those people who had graduated from the university of life with flying colors and she kindly passed some lessons onto me.

Being Scottish, she would say something like, “Listen now ‘ere pet, you mustna’ do as that there cow. Don’t be doing all ya' good actions and words to the people then, and then canceling them all with mean words, slyness, or being over proud of y’urself, or remindin’ that person o’ what u’ve done. No one likes that pet. You see, my dearie, bad deeds cancel out all those good deeds and render them as nothin’ right dear? So dunno’ be like Daisy that there cow, kicken’ o’er the milk pail – seeing herself as no good, or too proud to give. No one liked that there cow pet.”

Well, as I could gather, Daisy, like most of us, come up with the goods (Daisy gives milk and we do good deeds), but it is us who cancel out the good deeds and their effects by ‘kicking over the bucket’ – following up good deeds with reminders of what we’ve done, being proud, having a hard heart…..

So the lesson is, don’t be like Daisy the cow. Don’t kick the bucket that may be full of kind words, self-sacrifice, painstaking effort, and momentous patience – don’t empty the contents of your life with one fowl swoop and then have to start from scratch again! If you don’t like yourself, then change yourself. You are the one who is making the mosaic of your life – you are making it with every word, act, thought, intention; every direction you take. If your life’s mosaic isn’t good, take a good long hard look in the mirror. Be determined to be good. Be good, then be yourself.

* Selma Cook is Managing Editor of the Youth Section and Volunteer Youth Resource Network at Islam Online.net. She has written a number of books including: Buried Treasure (An Islamic novel for teenagers), The Light of Submission (Islamic Poetry). She has also edited and revised many Islamic books. She can be contacted at: youth_campaign@iolteam.com