Muslims In `Eid

Traditions of Marriage

Indonesia: Three Months of Honey Moon on Groom’s House

In Indonesia, it is very strange. After asking about the girl’s family, the young man takes a scholar and goes to the bride’s father to propose to her. It is the scholar who makes the initiative and talks on behalf of the groom.

Shamsoury Phono Jam`aan from Jawa tells us about the practices of the residents of Indonesia and says: “ The Indonesian families pay due respect to a learned man specially the one with religious education and make it easy for him with regard to marriage. I myself was asked by my bride to recite Surat Al-Anfaal as a dower. Later, I gave her the best present in Jawa; that is a Mushaf and prayer mat. I prepared one room, that is our residence, along with abed, a wardrobe and some cooking ware.

Two days before the wedding party, my mum called all those people around to pay “Nokuut”; it is a present offered to the newly weds as a form of helping them to face their new family life. On the wedding party, all people gather together to eat and celebrate. Four hours later, the celebration is over and the groom takes his bride and go to her family house for four days and then move to the groom’s family house for other four days. At the end of these four days, the family members gather to decide the issue of the honey moon that lasts for three months in which the groom stays in the house of his in-laws. During that period, he does nothing but trying his best to make his bride happy. The three months mark the end of the previous life and the beginning of a new life full of joy and happiness with his life-long partner.