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When Terror Becomes Personal
By Hana Siddiqi
29/10/2001
Editor's note: Because of the severe nature of the incident and in the interest of confidentiality, pseudonyms have been used for those involved in the following story.
A question lurking in the minds of many Muslims in New York and elsewhere since the attack on America, is whether they are safe from hate crimes. From very early on in the crisis, it was clear that many Muslims were afraid to go about their daily routines because of the many acts of violence perpetrated against American Muslims and people of Middle Eastern/South Asian descent.
It has been over a month since the attacks, however, and many Muslims - men and women alike - are back to their normal routines. Some have become more cautious and wary of strangers; but for the most part, Muslims have gotten on with their lives much in the same way the rest of America has.
This was certainly the case for Fatima, a 19-year-old American Muslim of Egyptian background. As a college student in New York, she had returned to her daily grind, which included attending classes and commuting throughout the city. She could not have expected that this return to normalcy would be shattered in the most violent of ways.
It was Sunday, October 14, and Fatima was on her way to meet a friend in the city. As she had done many times in the past, she walked casually down to the commuter platform to catch the A-train downtown. As she waited, she couldn't help but overhear some men discussing the events surrounding the September 11 attacks. At first she just tried to ignore it; but then she heard one of the men say, "All Arabs should die."
Fatima's response, a short nervous chuckle, was typical for anyone feeling conspicuous because of appearance. And since September 11,
hijab (headscarf worn by Muslim women) has drawn a great deal of unwanted attention to Muslim women. The better response might have been plain silence. However human nature being human nature, Fatima succumbed to nervousness instead of calculated calmness.
Standing not too far away from the men, the sound of Fatima's reaction immediately caught their attention. One of the men looked straight at her and asked, "What are you laughing at?"
Fatima tried to ignore the query; but the man persisted: "What do you think is so funny?" he said, now clearly agitated.
Again, Fatima attempted to ignore the man; but the he was determined to see his line of questioning through. "You're one of them aren't you?" he exclaimed. "Americans shouldn't be killed, you people should be killed. All Arabs should be killed, and I'm gonna start with you."
Before Fatima could muster a response, verbal or otherwise, the man grabbed her, put her in a headlock, and placed a knife on her throat. Fatima stood frozen, shocked and choking in the middle of a midday subway crowd.
Suddenly, another man jumped to her rescue, tackling the offender. With her assailant temporarily preoccupied, Fatima made a dash for the open doors of the subway car that had just pulled into the stop. An undercover police officer, having witnessed the assault from afar, jumped to Fatima's assistance on the subway and took her report of the incident.
Since the attempt on her life, Fatima has not been able to function as before. She constantly replays the horrific events of that day in her thoughts and in her dreams. Due to the nature of the trauma Fatima faced, she has shied from even discussing the assault. However Fatima's sister Nadia, with whom she lives, has spoken up about the incident on Fatima's behalf.
According to Nadia, during one of Fatima's sleepless nights she recounted the fear of that fateful day, "I think about what the blade feels like on my neck. I think about if he had just moved one wrong move he would have slit my throat. I think about the feeling of his arm around my neck."
Many similar assaults have been taken place since the tragic events of September 11. There are reports that up to 1,000 Muslims/Arabs and people of South Asian descent have been attacked since the September 11 events. Six people have died as a result of these crimes.
Muslims and others of Arab or South Asian background do not know what to make of it. Many were born and raised in America and consider themselves Americans, whereas others have come to this country to escape the violence in their own homelands.
Although some people think that in time things should get better, many feel quite the opposite. Reflecting on the happenings of the last few weeks, Nadia expresses pessimism. "I think it's gonna get really bad," she says. "I think it's gonna get much worse, like over time, a year from now, I think we're gonna notice that it's noticeably different than it was before this happened. It's not just gonna be this backlash that's just gonna go away."
Most U.S. citizens would probably agree that it is a threat to all Americans for people to act on their ignorance and intolerance without thinking of the consequences. The violence visited upon Fatima is a clear example of what happens when such ignorance turns to unwarranted rage. And once rage is unleashed, lives change forever. Just ask Fatima.
Says Nadia, "This guy was ready to kill her. I mean any guy that puts a knife to your neck is ready to use it."
This harsh reality will live with these sisters for a long time to come.
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