Children
are a great blessing from Allah. With their tender hearts, children
can be molded into righteous people only with a positive and tender
approach. Islam considers children to be an amanah (trust)
given to the family and says it is fard (obligatory) for the
family to raise a child in a righteous manner. One should not favor
one child over another. In Islam, both male and female children
should be treated equally and should be loved and cherished. The
children have certain rights over their parents; it is the
family’s obligation to shelter, feed, clothe, educate, support,
nurture, and love them.
In
today’s world many parents are so immersed in worldly life that
they forget to pay attention to their children. Many parents think
that providing financial support for their child is enough. The fact
is, financial support alone doesn’t fulfill a parent’s duty
towards their child. One can only win a child’s heart through love
and a gentle attitude. It is the child’s right to be loved and
cherished.
I
remember that, as a child, I yearned for the attention of my family,
but being in a joint family—my family and my uncle’s family
lived together and a few other cousins stayed with us as their
parents were working abroad—did not give me the opportunity to
experience the kind of attention I expected. My parents felt that
they should not express their love for their children in front of
others, as people might think they were favoring us. As a child (and
even now), I heard people saying “We need not to express our love
to prove that it is there, it is enough to have a loving heart.”
But the fact is that only when one expresses love to a child will
the child feel more confident and stronger. Children have the
capacity to easily distinguish when there is a difference in the
attitude of the adults. Whether an adult shows or does not show love
will have a significant impact on a child. Hence, we adults have to
be conscious with our behavior in the child’s presence and be
constantly aware of the emotions we project to our children.
Nowadays,
we see people have become hardhearted so that their attitude towards
children is unpleasant. There are some who show much partiality
toward one gender, and there are some who don’t treat others’
children with the same kindness or affection which they show to
their own children. It is common to see even people who claim that
they act on the Qur’an and Sunnah showing less interest in playing
with their children or giving them the due attention or expression
of love.
The
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is the model for the whole
of humankind. His attitude towards children was always compassionate
and merciful. Being fond of children, Prophet Muhammad showed great
interest in playing with them. His involvement in children’s games
shows us the great importance in playing with our children. He would
have fun with the children who had come back from Abyssinia and
tried to speak in Abyssinian with them. It was his practice to give
lifts on his camel to children when he returned from journeys.
Prophet
Muhammad never held back his love for the children and always
expressed his fondness to them. In one hadith Abu Hurairah (may
Allah be pleased with him) narrated:
I
went along with Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon
him) at a time during the day but he did not talk to me and I did
not talk to him until he reached the market of Banu Qainuqa`. He
came back to the tent of Fatimah and said, “Is the little chap
(meaning Al-Hasan) there?” We were under the impression that his
mother had detained him in order to bathe him and dress him and
garland him with sweet garland. Not much time had passed that he
(Al-Hasan) came running until both of them embraced each other,
thereupon Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him)
said, “O Allah, I love him; love him and love one who loves
him.” (Muslim)
Anas
ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), the servant of the
Prophet, had another recollection:
I
never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than
Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son
Ibrahim was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around
Madinah. He would go there, and we would go with him, and he would
enter the house, pick up his son and kiss him, then come back.
(Muslim)
The
Prophet’s love for children was not restricted to his children and
grandchildren. The scope of his mercy and affection embraced all
children, and he showed the same interest and gentleness to his
Companion’s children. The following hadith narrated by Usamah ibn
Zaid (may Allah be pleased with him) shows this humane aspect of the
Prophet’s personality:
Allah’s
Messenger used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan
ibn `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, “O
Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I am merciful to them.”
(Bukhari)
Some
people who were not able to understand the power of expressing love
to children wondered why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon
him) played with children and took such an interest in them.
Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him),
Allah’s
Messenger kissed Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis
At-Tamim was sitting with him . Al-Aqra` said, “I have ten
children and have never kissed one of them.” The Prophet cast a
look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will
not be treated mercifully.” (Al-Bukhari)
The
Prophet was always concerned about everyone’s thought and feeling.
The following hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be
pleased with him) proves his thoughtful character:
The
Prophet said, “(It happens that) I start the prayer intending to
prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the
prayer because I know that the cries of the child will incite its
mother’s passions.” (Al-Bukhari)
The
Prophet was always patient and considerate with children and took
great pain not to hurt their tender feelings.
Narrated
Abu Qatadah: “The Messenger of Allah came towards us while
carrying Umamah the daughter of Abi Al-`As (Prophet’s
granddaughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to
bow, he put her down, and when he stood up he lifted her up.”
(Al-Bukhari)
In
a another hadith,
Narrated
Umm Khalid: I (the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah’s
Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt.
Allah’s Messenger said, “Sanah, Sanah!”
(`Abdullah, the narrator, said that sanah meant “good”
in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing with the seal
of prophethood (between the Prophet’s shoulders) and my father
rebuked me harshly for that. Allah’s Messenger said, “Leave
her.” The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to grant her a long life
thrice. (Al-Bukhari)
In
another narration we see the Prophet’s tolerance towards children.
Narrated
`A’ishah: The Prophet took a child in his lap … and then the
child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over
the place of the urine. (Al-Bukhari)
Finally
I would like to add another saying of the Prophet that proves that
Muslims should be conscious to treat their sons and daughters
justly:
“Fear
Allah and treat your children [small or grown] fairly (with equal
justice).” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
From
all the above hadith we see Prophet Muhammad’s attitude toward
children is an example for the whole human race that shows how to
treat them and cherish them at all times.