It is as you said sister ‘I know that it is said again and again that the woman has the full right over her money, but what does it really mean,’

It is yours, so do whatever you want with it as long as it is not spent in Haram and also do not forget your poor brothers and sister everywhere and before all of this do not forget your Zakat. You can make your money grow by spending some of it on charity and helping your brothers especially in Palestine. It is OK to tell your husband, but I wouldn’t if I were you as long as they are small spendings not fatal ones ... because first, it’s mine, second, if it’s for charity it’s better to be hidden and no one should know about it and third because I know how men think and behave .  But do not forget that you should not spend a lot on unnecessary expensive things while your fellow human being brothers are starving to death and it could’ve been you.

Salaam Sister,

In response to your questions, the money is all of yours to spend as you wish. You, not your husband, will be held accountable on how you spend it, however. In other words, spend on your self, your chldren and husband, IF you wish (there is NO obligation), there is no harm in that, Allah considers this as charity. However, you should not be frivolous and wasteful, turning to israaf  or becoming a spendthrift (as pharaoh did). Moderation is key.

Another point is that money as a gift from family or relatives is permissible, and no one has the right to deny you of a gift. The prophet (saws) encouraged gift giving for all muslims.

The money that is gifted is considered one and the same as the money earned from working, it is the woman's property.

Lastly, this is to reinforce your last couple of questions (These are based on sahih hadiths):

 Yes the money is hers, and women need to undertsand that they are responsible adults, and Allah will hold them accountable on how they behave and act. This means that it is not right for a woman to deny the right and responsiblity given by Allah. A woman must spend of her wealth and her husband's wealth in the way that will please Allah. That said, the husbands wealth should be the primary source of support for the wife and for the child/children, first. Now, if there is money left over, and already given out of charity, it is obligatory for the husband to spend on his wife (within moderation) in material items as part of his good treatment and love.

Further, a wifes fortune/money is NOT to supplement his income, you can help, as an act of charity. But, if the wife rather lend her hsuband the money, she is permitted for that. Actually, if is not made claer that the money given is not considered a loan, then by defalt, it is considered as such (a loan) that must be repaid, unless forgiven. The husband is responsible for returning it back to the wife, as it is considered as a loan and Allah will hold the husband accountable for it on the day of judgement.  He must pay the wife back as she lent it, it cannot be returned in substitution through a material gift or household expenses. 

In a nutshell, women are creatures with rights and respnsibilities in the sight of Allah as men are. Too often, women find it easy to take the approach where she gives up her rights as it is convenient for her. She feel s taht she then is not responsible for certain things. This is dangerous and Allah is aware of all intentions. She will be questioned on the day of judgement. So women be wise and beware, take hold of your responsibilities and Rights. It is ordained by Allah to do so.

I hope this was helpful,

Wassalaam

Imo, this is a very strange question.

When you live together as a pair, wheter married or not, there shouldn't be any personal posessions.  That only causes division and friction.

Neither the wife NORE the husband should spend money "freely" (unless maybe if they are billionaires).

Spending of money should be done with mutual consent.

It's one thing to buy a dvd, a cd, a book or whatever.

It's an entirely different thing to suddenly drive upto the house in a Porche, buying big screen tv's, expensive computers or other devices or buying for hundreds/thousands of dollars of clothes or jewelry or whatnot.

There's a silver line there and it's sad that this needs explaining.