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Has my time really come? Islam dictates that Muslims must go for Hajj once in their lifetime if they are physically and financially able to do so. Of course, I knew that! But it was in the back of my mind. “I’ll do it someday of course,” I would think to myself. But first, I have to complete my university studies. First, I must work and get my career going. First, I must get married. First, I must have children. First, I must attend to my children. First....

Dear readers,

My name is Dilshad D. Ali, and this is my Hajj story. You’ve read my work on IslamOnline.net for about three years now. I’ve covered almost everything the South Asian-Muslim art and film scene has to offer in New York and across the United States . And I’ve harnessed the power of the written word to prove that not only are there many fairly permissible or halal (by my standards) entertainment options for Muslims, but the religious and spiritual practices prescribed to us can also be a source of enjoyment.

Now, I want to take that theory and prove it, once and for all, with one of the ultimate Islamic experiences—Hajj. I truly believe that if you make the niyyah (intention) to go for Hajj, not only will you gain spiritual enlightenment and a closer, richer relationship with Allah Most High, you also will experience one of the most exciting, trying, emotional, and enjoyable times of your life.

But I’m not going for Hajj just to prove that point—of course not! We go for Hajj to fulfill our obligation to Allah Most High. That should be our only reason, according to various Islamic literature I’ve read, and according to the advice given to me by several scholarly Muslim individuals.

So, I want to fulfill my requirement while I’m young, healthy, can afford to, and desperately want to. My husband already did his Hajj when he was 12 or 13 years old with his family. But this is first time he is going as an independent Muslim adult. For that matter, everyone in my family and my husband’s family has been for Hajj or at the very least `Umrah—everyone except me!

You can imagine how that irked me for a number of years. All my family members, especially my parents and in-laws, speak in glowing terms about the dazzling and earth-shattering experience that Hajj is. Just seeing the Ka`bah for the first time is unbelievable and unforgettable, they tell me. My brothers, who went alone for `Umrah, repeat those sentiments. And so I was eager to go too. But being a female I cannot travel alone. And, unfortunately, none of my close male relatives, my mahram had been available to take me in the past.

So, I resigned myself to the notion that I would go, in sha’ Allah, but it would probably not be for a while; however, some personal troubles during the past six years jumpstarted my niyyah. Immediately after marrying my husband in 1999, I suddenly became deathly ill and learned that I had a life-long serious medical condition. While I was lying in the ICU of Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in  New York , I promised Allah that I would do my Hajj as soon as I was well and able to. And I recovered and came home. I informed my husband of my promise and asked for his help to make it happen.

But life has a funny way of intervening, things happen for a reason. Directly after my illness, Allah Most High blessed me with pregnancy and our first child. It was very difficult, to say the least, but we came through. So I had a precious baby to take care of. I felt like Allah was telling me to wait, just wait a little more.

Our son grew, and my husband’s internal medicine residency turned into a fellowship. In the meantime, we had my daughter. So, there were two kids and an extremely busy life of medical training for my husband. The message still seemed to be “wait.”

Last year our little family came to a sort of crossroads in the way we would progress, the way we would live our life as a family, the way we would be parents to our children. Although I am a writer and committed to getting people to open up their lives to me for my articles, I do not wish to divulge the specifics of what happened to us. I only want to say this—the situation we faced tested, and still tests my faith, and it made clear to me the time had come to fulfill my Islamic obligations.

So here we are, one month away from our departure to the Muslim holy land, in sha’ Allah. In the coming weeks I plan to share with you our preparations, my fears, my hopes, and my learning curve. Ultimately, the biggest test of how Hajj has affected me will be when I return to New York.

I am told that if you feel it sincerely in your heart, if you can embrace the spirituality, unity, and righteousness of Islam that shines through in Hajj, then you will return a changed person. The challenge is to maintain that sincerity of faith as much as you can upon your return. So where will that leave me after January 29? How will I navigate the trappings of Western media and entertainment? And how long will it last?

We’ll see….