In
her bedroom, Saleema was sitting on her bed, staring at
the beautiful red sari with rich jardosi embroidery on
the borders.
“Saleema
baaji … Saleema baaji!” Sabeera sounded excited as
she entered Saleema’s room.
“Baaji,
guess what?!” The excitement in her tone was
increasing.
“Papa
has agreed to take me on Hajj after your wedding.”
Saleema
forced a light smile and said in a low voice, “Oh,
that’d be good, Sabeera. I’m happy for you.”
“Baaji,
you don’t sound too good. Are you OK?” Sabeera asked
with concern.
“I’m
OK, don’t worry. I haven’t slept properly for the
past two days so I’m just tired.” Saleema patted her
sister’s head and smiled.
“Oh
OK! I understand. You’re gonna be married in a week,
so you must be nervous and excited and the excitement is
not allowing you to sleep, I guess!” Sabeera winked at
her sister. Her eyes fell on the red sari.
“Wow,
this is so beautiful, baaji, you’re gonna look like a
doll in this sari!” Sabeera exclaimed pointing to the
red sari on Saleema’s bed.
Saleema
smiled, “Is Ummi back from Mousy’s house?”
“Not
yet,” Sabeera answered.
“I
just got a call from the seamstress and she said she
would finish Ummi’s sari in another two days. Please
tell her about this because I might forget. My memory
hasn’t been good for the past few days,” explained
Saleema.
“Sure,
baaji, I’ll do that, but now I’d better go and clean
my room before Ummi returns!” Sabeera pecked a kiss on
her sister’s cheek and left her room.
Saleema
was alone. She latched her door, leaned against it, and
closed her eyes. Tears flowed from her cheeks. Her heart
told her, “Saleema, you have the freedom to choose and
you need to express your feelings before it is too late.
Marriage is for tranquility. Will you have tranquility
in this marriage that you don’t want?”
Saleema
struggled with her heart. She asked herself, “But how
will I tell them? What if they hate me and alienate me
for expressing my feelings about this man?” Finally,
she decided to tell Aunt Najeeba, her father’s sister
whom she considered to be the most understanding and
considerate member in the family.
After
an hour passed, Saleema heard her mother’s voice
downstairs and went down the steps slowly in order to
speak to her mother. Saleema’s mother had returned
from her aunt’s house with a dazzling jewelry set for
her to wear on the wedding day.
“As-salamu
`alaykum, Ummi,” Saleema said quietly. Her mother
turned around with a big smile on her face when she saw
Saleema.
“Wa
`alaykum as-salam, Saleema. Look at this! I got this
jewelry set for you. See whether you like it.”
“It’s
beautiful,” Saleema said with a smile.
“I
know, and you will look gorgeous in this. I can’t wait
to see you as a bride!” Her mother was euphoric at the
thought.
Saleema
smiled faintly and said, “Ummi, will Mousy be coming
home today …?” Before she completed her sentence,
she heard the doorbell ring. Saleema answered the door
hoping and wishing that it would be Aunt Najeeba and it
was.
“As-salamu
`alaykum!” Najeeba greeted as she entered the house.
Saleema
was glad that her aunt had come and hugged and kissed
her. “Wa `alaykum as-salam, Mousy. I knew you would be
coming today.”
Najeeba
laughed and said, “I come here almost every day,
especially since your wedding got fixed. Tasneem would
not leave me even if I didn’t come …” pointing to
Saleema’s mother.
Tasneem
laughed and greeted her. “As-salamu `alaykum. Of
course, how could I leave you? You are not only my
sister-in-law, but also my best friend and the
bride-to-be’s aunt.”
Najeeba
sat on the sofa with a huge grin and remarked to Saleema,
“So you must be counting your days now.”
Saleema
sat quietly next to her aunt and pretended to read a
magazine until her mother left to set the table for
lunch. Saleema became restless and was wondering how to
approach the subject about her feelings for the man whom
she was going to marry. Najeeba noticed Saleem’a
restlessness and asked her, “Do you want to say
something, Saleema?”
Saleema
poured out her feelings and thoughts only to her aunt
and like other times, Najeeba could sense Saleema’s
frame of mind. Saleema always approached Najeeba if she
had a problem and needed counsel.
“Yes,
Mousy, I want to talk to you alone,” Saleema
responded. Najeeba got up saying, “OK, let’s go to
your room.” They both went to Saleema’s room and
Saleema latched her door. Najeeba looked at Saleema
worriedly.
“What
is it, Saleema?” she asked. Saleema was thinking of
how to start the topic and then said, “It is about my
wedding, Mousy.”
“What
about it?” Najeeba asked.
“Oh,
Mousy, I really don’t know how to start …” Saleema’
s eyes were filled with tears. “Mousy, let me be
honest with you. I don’t want to marry Ahmed.”
Najeeba
was shocked, her eyes widened, “But why, what’s
wrong with him?”
“I
grew up with him, Mousy and my heart has always seen him
as my own brother and now suddenly everybody says I’m
going to marry him and the marriage date is fixed
without my permission.” Saleema continued tearfully,
“My heart is not inclined towards him. I cannot accept
him as my husband. Oh please, Mousy, help me,” Saleema
pleaded.
“Saleena,
sweetie, the marriage is fixed. Don’t you think it is
too late …” Najeeba said softly.
Saleema’s
tone rose, “Mousy, it will only be too late after I
marry him!” She bursted into tears.
Najeeba
hugged her niece and said, “Sweetie, even I had the
same feeling when I married my husband, but in the
course of time I started getting comfortable with him,
especially after having children.”
“What
if we end up not being compatible?” Saleema spat out.
“But
you will. I was not happy for 15 years, but now I am
happy, in fact very happy,” Najeeba persuaded.
“GOOD!”
Saleema shouted irritably. “So you want me to marry
him and wait until I become 40 to have a comfortable
married life?” Saleema was angry and disappointed.
“I thought you would be the only one who would
understand me. Nobody asked my permission, Mousy.
Everybody arranged it and then they come and tell me
that I’m going to marry Ahmed and my marriage is
fixed.”
“I
do understand, sweetie, but this is our culture. We all
went through the same thing that you are going
through,” Najeeba said pathetically and hugged her
niece.
“So,
I HAVE to marry him and I have no other choice?”
Saleema retorted.
“Yes,
sweetie, being born as girls, we need to be patient and
undergo all of this. Allah will reward you for your
patience,” Najeeba said. Saleema was unable to hold
back her tears and cried so much that Najeeba’s sari
blouse became soaked. Najeeba kissed Saleema and tried
to pacify her.
Islam
is a way of life; it is a religion that is moderate and
balanced. Islam has the Qur’an and the Sunnah to guide
people.
The
Prophet said, “A matron should not be given in
marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin
should not be given in marriage except after her
permission.” The people asked, “O Allah’s
Apostle! How can we know her permission?” He said,
“Her silence (indicates her permission)” (Bukhari
6:62 #67).
Abu
Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reported
Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying,
“A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow)
must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin
must not be married until her permission is sought.”
They asked the Prophet of Allah (may peace be upon him),
“How can her (virgin’s) consent be solicited?” He
said, “That she keeps silence” (Muslim 8:3303).
Marriage
is a beautiful and a sacred bond that allows each spouse
to live in tranquility.
[And
among His signs is this, that He created for you
mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in
peace and tranquility with them, and He has put love
and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are
signs for those who reflect.]
(Ar-Rum 30:21)
There
are thousands of “Saleemas” in different parts of
the world. They are forced into marriages and the result
is that they also ruin their own daughters’ lives.
Parents and guardians need to reflect on the words of
Prophet Muhammed and the Noble Qur’an before they give
in to their culture if they call themselves Muslims.
After knowing what the Prophet (peace and blessings be
upon him) said, can we still consider forced marriages
to be valid in the sight of Allah?
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**
Amatullah Abdullah is a freelance writer who resides in Chennai, India. Her essays have been published in India, the United States and the United Kingdom. She holds a bachelor’s degree in English literature and is working on her master’s degree. Amatullah is a staff writer for One Ummah and is on the editorial staff of IQRA Newspaper. She is also an active member of the Islamic Writers Alliance and the Muslim Writers Society. She can be reached at:
amatullah110@yahoo.com.
