If we take a look at Surat Al-Fatihah, the “Mother of the Book,” the name Rabb (Lord) is the fourth of Allah’s names that He mentions. He manifests the names Allah, Al-Rahman, and Al-Rahim first, and this has huge significance that I can only comment on slightly because of my poor knowledge. Nevertheless, let me try to explain. The name Allah is first, I believe, because this is the name He shares with no one. Allah means “God” in English, for want of a better word. Allah includes the definite article al (the) and noun ilah (God), which actually means “the God” (the only god worthy of being worshiped). All the names and attributes of Allah stem from this unique title, like branches on a tree.

Next are Al-Rahman and Al-Rahim, which appear to be identical in meaning but are quite distinct. Al-Rahman is better translated as “the All-Merciful.” Al-Rahim can then best be translated as “the Ever-Merciful.”

It is perfectly fitting that once Allah has established Himself as the only god worthy of worship, Who is merciful to all creation, especially to those who believe in Him, that He mentions His attribute Rabb. The word 'rabb' has an implicit meaning cherishing, sustaining and bringing to maturity as well as the literal meaning. He is Master of the universe, while being the One Who sustains and nourishes it. Linguistically, the verbal root of Rabb, rabba, means “to be master or lord.” The mundane definition refers to people; rabb is an owner of something (Wehr 320), but Rabb takes on a divine definition that denotes perfection. Rabb has the following definitions in my view:

• To nourish sustain and mature.

• The One Who allows everything in the universe to achieve its potential—the Nurturer

• The Nourisher of the universe, Who replenishes everything

• The Comforter

• The Most Compassionate

• Lord of all creation

• Master of the universe

From the above, we can see that Rabb has meanings that inspire awe and the greatest reverence, while simultaneously softening our hearts with meanings that highlight His mercy and compassion. He is distant and most powerful as Lord and Master of the universe, and at the same time, accessible and personal as our Cherisher and Nurturer, Who loves His believers unconditionally.

Tarbiyah is derived from the verb rabbi meaning “to make or let grow; to raise, rear, bring up (so); to educate, to teach, instruct (a child).” The root verb is raba/yarbu, which means “to increase, to grow” (Wehr 324). Therefore, tarbiyah is all about education, teaching, and cultivating, with regards to children. Another derivation of raba/yarbu is the verbal noun riba (interest or increase), which according to the Qur’an is heinous and an abomination. Those who practice riba are equal to parasites in Islam and present a complete opposite to those who practice tarbiyah because the former enslave people rather than help them to grow and reach their Allah-given potential.

The job of being a parent is a very challenging one in so many ways, and we know from the sayings of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) that the mother deserves three times as much compassion and respect from her children as the father because of her huge role in their lives. Another hadith says that the only way to repay one’s father is to find him as a slave in the market and free him, so imagine what one would have to do to repay the mother. Parents are indeed “slaves” to their children, especially in the early years, yet they should be willing and happy ones. As parents and pedagogues (murabbiyun) we should commit ourselves from day one to giving the best care, love, comfort, mercy, and guidance we can to our children for this life and the Hereafter (dunya wa akhirah). Parenthood ought to cultivate unconditional love for our children, which love they will eventually return of their own free will. Consequently, parenthood will engender and enhance our unconditional love for Allah, our Lord and Cherisher.

No matter how tempting it is to use emotional blackmail to control our children, we should try our best to avoid practicing “emotional riba” through them. We do this when we give love and everything else with unjust conditions and expectations, so that rather than allowing our children to reach their Allah-given potential, we overburden them and enslave them so as to repay us for all that we, as parents, sacrificed for them. This is a disastrous mistake to make and can ruin the whole parent-child relationship.

We all know that Islam gives parents rights over their children, but the rights that children have over their parents are little emphasized. In brief, children have rights in Islam—to be loved, cherished, and educated in good manners and beneficial knowledge. It is not a favor on the part of the parents; it is their duty, as hard as it is. Parenthood is the most demanding experience in this world and only Allah can reward parents for their enormous sacrifices. Parents should not expect the rewards to come from their children; however, if parents try good Islamic parenting, then most likely their children will turn out to be balanced individuals who will serve the parents willingly and lovingly. Parents should give of themselves freely and unconditionally, just as their parents should have done with them.

Once we have done our best to cultivate our children in Islam, then the rest is up to Allah: to unfold each child’s potential and allow each seed to grow into the individual that he or she is meant to be. From birth, children naturally love their parents unconditionally, so, as parents, we must acknowledge this and reciprocate it even more, as children are totally dependent on us for their well-being and as guides in this ever-changing world.

In this way, parents are like farmers, as they can have some control over the conditions of their children’s cultivation, like a farmer over his crops. However, it is Allah Who makes the seed grow into wheat, corn, or whatever. Only He, from a fertilized egg, makes the child into an individual with unique gifts, talents, or defects. Parents can only do their utmost to create the best conditions for their children to reach their highest potential and to be of the most benefit to their families, communities, and wider society.

Parenthood is the best teacher of unconditional love for humanity and for all the creation that Allah has given us as a means to come closer to Him and to bear all the upsets of life contentedly, for His sake, until we are granted His eternal companionship.

• Parenthood should cultivate unconditional love for our children, which they will eventually return of their own free will. Consequently, parenthood will engender and enhance our unconditional love for Allah, our Lord and Cherisher.

• Children should not be enslaved by their parents for their own benefit, as usurers enslave those indebted. Parents should cultivate their children so that they can achieve their Allah-given potential.

• The above should allow parents to cultivate their children as individuals, not as mirror images of themselves; Allah has given everyone a unique identity, right down to the fingerprints (Al-Qiyama 75:4).

• Part 10- Growing & Learning with Baby
• Unconditional Love or Conditions for Love?
• Raising Citizens of the World
• What Is Islamic Education? (Live Dialogue)
• The Westernization of Islamic Education
• Challenges Facing Islamic Education
• Decolonizing Contemporary Education
• The Failures and Limitations of Modern Schooling
• Creating a Learning Environment
• To Home-School or Not to Home-School?
• How to Maintain Islamic Identity Within the Western School
• Home Schooling Success

• What Are Schools For? (Live Dialogue)

I'm a mother of two, working part-time for a Somali Women's refugee group in West London. I'm a volunteer with FOWAAD, UK. Presently working on an anti-FGM leaflet for use with Muslims practicing communities in the West primarily.