|
As
we have witnessed not so distant atrocities, genocides, and ethnic cleansing in
Europe, in which the Bosnians (Muslims of Bosnia-Herzegovina) and Kosovars
(Muslim Albanians of Kosova) were the victims, once again we are now witnessing
the horror and killing and maiming of Palestinian, Chechen, Iraqi, Kashmiri, and
Afghan children to name just a few victims of this continuing onslaught on the
Muslim children of the world. The world may be inured to it because it has
become routine or because the victims are of a different faith, color, or race.
As Muslim parents we wonder how to explain this collective human propensity for
brutality and inhumanity, mass killing and extermination to our children. We may
offer them intellectual justification or hide behind the historical reality of
ancient hatred, but we can never convince them of the necessity of such
brutality and inhumanity.
The
children must wonder whether the leaders of the nations are capable of telling
them the truth, or whether their parents have the ability to teach them how to
create a world where peace, liberty, justice and equity, rule of law, economic
fairness, human equality, and human rights would prevail.
The
racism, greed, and religious hatred that have fanned the fires of war are still
alive in newspapers, magazines, novels, and films, and they continue to pose a
threat to the cultural and religious identity and well-being of billions of
people worldwide. How to ensure that the children become upright world citizens
and are spared the vicious cycle of ethnic and religious hatred, human greed,
and lust for power?
Will
the children be able to transcend ethnic and religious hatreds, and the lust for
power and wealth, to foster a global civil society based on the principles of
fundamental freedom and human rights for all?
It
will depend on what and how we teach and nurture our children, the future
generation-in-the-making, to be good and worthwhile citizens of the world. There
is, indeed, a way out of the vicious cycle.
Introduction
Across
the ages and throughout the world, parents, teachers, philosophers, religious
and civic leaders, have wrestled with the question of how to raise morally and
ethically responsible citizens in every society and civilization. Today, the
task before parents is greater: They have not only to raise good citizens of the
state, but also to train them to be good citizens of the world, to be part of
the community of nations and humanity that is bedeviled by atrocities, ethnic
cleansing, and genocide. There is, indeed, a revealed book, the Qur’an, full
of wisdom and guidance to lead humanity out of the vicious cycle of religious
and ethnic hatred, tyranny, oppression, and war.
[A
Book we have revealed onto thee, in order that thou might lead humankind out of
the depth of darkness into light.]
(Ibrahim 14:1)
Indeed,
its simple directions for human conduct are plain and easy to understand and act
upon.
[And
We have indeed made the Qur’an easy to understand and remember.]
(Ibrahim 14:1)
The
Qur’an provides an extensive insight into human nature and human behavior and
the type of behavior Allah, the Absolute Creator, expects of His creation as His
representative on earth. Allah says: [I
will create a vicegerent (to be my representative) on earth]
(Al-Baqarah 2:30). It will be a trustee of free personality or free
will— [Every
soul draws the consequences of its own action]
(An-Nahl 16:111)—under moral obligation to change himself or herself,
society, and the larger environment to create a morally and ethically balanced
self and a just society (Aal `Imran 3:110). The Qur’an clearly states that
human personality is not only physical and psychological but is also spiritual
in nature, and is in the possession of self-consciousness as well as
God-consciousness (Al-An`am 7:172).
Indeed,
to fulfill the purpose of human creation, parents need to raise citizens who are
morally responsible for establishing a just and peaceful local society as well
as the world.
[You
are the best community which has ever been brought forth for the guidance of
humankind. You enjoin good, forbid evil, and believe in Allah.]
(Aal `Imran 3:110)
Therefore,
the Qur’an provides clear guidance regarding one’s relationship with
oneself, with Allah the Creator, and with all others in His creation since the
Qur’an tells us that He has created humanity from the same essence or nafs.
[Humankind!
Be conscious of your Sustainer Who created you of a single nafs [self]]
(An-Nisaa’ 4:1). This conception of human creation, “created of one nafs,
is unlike any other social, philosophical, or religious thought that has been
presented to humanity, because it leaves no room for racial, ethnic, and gender
superiority among nations and human diversity. [And
among His signs is the creation of heaven and the earth, and the variation in
your languages and in your colors. Verily in that are signs for those who know]
(Ar-Rum 30:22).
Moreover
the focus of reform in the Qur’an is the individual personality, when it
clearly points out that [the
condition of the people will not change unless they change their thinking and
behavior]
(Ar-Ra`d 13:11). According to the Qur’an, the locus of control is within the
self: [Say:
everyone acts according to his disposition]
(Al-Israa’ 17:84). The child learns from a young age how to be responsible for
his or her behavior, including relationships to parents, family, society, and
the world. Therefore, the role of parents in instilling these values in their
children as global citizens—through education, public institutions or
agencies, and private organizations—is vital and indispensable.
Role
Models
These
days, to meet their own needs, parents increasingly rely on day care centers,
baby-sitters, tutors, educators, health care providers, early childhood classes,
and organized social activities. As partners in our children’s education,
however, we simply cannot abdicate our nurturing responsibility and leave
outside educators and other professionals to instill ethical and moral values in
our children without reinforcement and role models at home.
Children
need role models, and parents are their primary examples. To be good role models
themselves, parents must also have models or mentors of their own whose example
they can emulate. For Muslim parents, the ideal role model is Prophet Muhammad
(peace and blessings be upon him).
[A
good example you (men and women) have in Allah’s Messenger, for all whose hope
is in Allah and in the Final Day and who remember Allah frequently.]
(Al-Ahzab 33:21)
His
actions and deeds were local, but they had global implications in terms of
promoting social and economic justice, and harmony between the sexes and between
different cultures, races, and religions. We need to translate those Islamic
global values into day-to-day reality for our children if they are to be worthy
future representatives of Allah in the world community.
The
most difficult and demanding challenge for parents today is not determining
which civic or religious ideals to pass on to their children, but how to
effectively translate them into daily routine. How can parents achieve this when
both are juggling multiple jobs? Burdened by social and economic pressure,
crime, violence, stressful family relationships, and a confusing political
environment, they feel their confidence continually eroded as they try to be
good nurturers and role models for their children. Therefore, parents also need
guidance to help them translate Islamic ideals into daily life and the lives of
their children. All this begins at home.
Primary
Social Institution
We
must nurture and protect the family as the primary social system and the natural
environment for maximizing children’s physical, psychological, and moral
growth. Children need a safe, peaceful, tolerant, understanding, loving, free,
and just environment in which to grow. As we move into the post-modern world of
parenting, we must find fundamental universal principles to serve as signposts.
A wealth of such principles or signs (ayahs; Arabic ayat) can be
found in the Qur’an. These vital signposts already exist in our daily
rhetoric, but parents need to actively apply them in their own homes. They need
to understand the concepts and underlying meanings of these Qur’anic
principles and to translate them into everyday reality.
Children
should be raised to understand fully their own rights, obligations, and
responsibilities as Muslims, as well as the rights, obligations, and
responsibilities of their parents, community, society, and ultimately the world
itself. The Qur’an directs the children persuasively, appealing to their
emotions.
It
asks children [to
show kindness to parents; and if one of them or both of them attain old age then
not even a word of disapprobation or disgust be uttered, let alone repulsing
them. They should be addressed politely and graciously, lowering unto them the
wing of submission and kindness]
(Al-Israa’ 17:24–25).
The
Qur’an links worship of Allah with kindness to parents:
[Thy
Lord has decreed that ye worship none save Him, and that you show kindness to
parents]
(Al-Israa’ 17:23-24) [And that you be kind to
your parents] (Luqman 31:14)
Children
must understand what it means to be a Muslim. It means, first and foremost, to
believe in Allah, who is Rabb Al-`Alamin, Creator and Sustainer of all peoples
and the universe. The Qur’an tells us that Allah’s creation is for just
ends, not in idle sport; humanity, fashioned [in
the best of moulds]
was created to serve Allah.
According
to Qur’anic teaching, service of Allah cannot be separated from service to
humankind; or, in Islamic terms, believers in Allah must honor both haquq
Allah (rights of Allah) and haquq al-`ibad (rights of creatures).
Fulfillment of one’s duties to Allah and humankind constitutes righteousness,
as stated in Surat Al-Baqarah 2:177.
These
basic concepts are first put into practice in the home—among our extended
families, our friends, schools, places of work and worship, our communities, our
country, and, finally, in the world. It involves parents in setting limits,
formulating rules, and teaching children to take moral responsibility for their
own behavior as vicegerents of Allah. This means also enforcing punishment or
according privilege. Children may be guided by what parents say, but it is the
parents’ deeds and actions that will have greater impact on their children.
Therefore, it is for parents to shape the Islamic identity of the children as
they prepare to inherit the global culture now being promoted so assiduously.
The
Right to Know
There
are certainly no guarantees, but with these principles in mind, parents can
expose the youth to basic global Islamic values and concepts, thus preparing
them to be good citizens of the world. To achieve this goal, children need to
know how to apply to and integrate with daily life these basic Qur’anic
principles:
1.
Children must be able to think critically and rationally if they are to
understand the Qur’anic principles governing human behavior in order to
maintain a proper balance between knowledge (`ilm) and practice (`amal).
The Qur’an does not merely appeal to emotions while exhorting for belief
and righteousness. It argues and appeals throughout the text to reason; it
urges humankind to reflect on natural phenomena in the heavens and the earth
and, through a synthesis of observation and reflection, to draw conclusions
with the use of intellect.
2.
Children should know their rights and responsibilities, which according to
the Qur’an, begin at home and continue in concentric circles, encompassing
the local and global arena.
3.
Children should understand the importance of volunteering—at home, by
regularly helping their parents; and in the community, by helping neighbors,
sharing their time with the elderly, visiting the sick, and sharing
resources with others.
4.
Children should learn to fit in with others. It means resolving conflicts
with fair words, not clenched fists. It also means listening to one another,
expressing oneself, developing self-esteem, being a good team player, having
good manners, and demonstrating civility to all.
5.
Children should learn to participate actively in the political process so as
to improve economic and social conditions, both locally and internationally.
They need to understand that global action has local impact; in effect, they
need to “think locally, act globally.”
6.
Children should make the natural environment part of their entire life’s
concern. As stewards (or caring preservers) and inheritors of this planet,
it is their task to take responsibility for the world’s finite resources
and seemingly infinite consumption habits. This means recycling, reusing
materials, preparing and eating healthy and locally produced food, taking
care of plant ecology, and managing wisely the goods we have.
7.
Children should be engaged in projects involving people in other countries
to learn how to accept and celebrate human differences and gain
self-confidence. They need to know that there are many others with whom we
share this planet earth and its resources.
8.
Children should understand that history does, indeed, matter. The Qur’an
draws attention repeatedly to the misdeeds of previous peoples, and to their
destruction as the result of those misdeeds. The warning is that if the past
produced all those disastrous results or if, conversely, virtuous deeds in
the past bore fruits in the form of good results, there is a relationship
between the past, present, and the future—and it is significant in
fashioning human life.
9.
Children need to understand where they come from and feel sufficiently
confident in their own religious and cultural identity to appreciate
others’ customs and practices.
10.
Children should experience the continuing, stable love of family and
friends. This means being able to freely express emotions—love, humor, and
respect—within the family.
Throughout
history, parents have been there to provide civil society well-adjusted,
hardworking, and honest future citizens. Effective civic education based on
Islamic concepts, indeed, begins and continues at home, where the laying of
foundations is a daily process for the development of ethical and moral values
reinforced through interaction with school and the larger community. Regardless
of what messages children receive from school, day care, or pre-school, they
learn many of their profound lessons at an early age from their own family
members.
Therefore,
the family must be protected as the fundamental unit in society, and as the
natural environment for children’s emotional, physical, moral, religious, and
social well-being and growth. Since children learn their first lessons in
citizenship at home, parents must take the initiative and be fully engaged in
this process as the driving engine of society.
Read
Also:
Raising
Positive Children Today 
Teenagers
+ Living in the West: Life Is Not Easy
The
Positive and Negative C’s of Islamic Parenting
Where
Are the Teachers?
Bringing
Up Good Members of the Muslim Ummah: A Meritorious Task
Giving
Birth Naturally
Sex
and the Muslim Youth
Creating
a Learning Environment
The
Failures and Limitations of Modern Schooling
‘What
Are Schools For?’ (Live Dialog)
To
Homeschool or Not to Homeschool? (Live Dialog)
Dealing
With Troubled Youth (Live Dialog)
How
to Be a Better Muslim - by Abu
Ameenah Bilal Philips 
*
Dr. Wahida Chisti Valiante, MSW, OASW, is a family counselor and national vice president of Canadian Islamic Congress. She can be reached at
wvaliante@sympatico.ca
|
