I was dumbstruck as I watched CNN reveal the events of the day. Like dominos, the World Trade Center fell, the Pentagon was hit, and another plane was hijacked. I couldn’t believe how this was happening and why. Naturally, the main question in my mind as well as everyone else’s mind was who was responsible. As the media began to piece the elements of the story together, I learned that the identity of the terrorists was Middle Eastern and their faith was Islam. I watched the media attach the perpetrators faith, Islam, to horrible words such as terrorism and violence. I knew that such connections would not only distort the image of Islam and Muslims, but would also alienate the West from the East.

As a Muslim woman, I knew right then and there, that these men defied what Islam upheld and deemed sacred. I knew that the very word Islam in Arabic means peace, purity, submission and obedience. I knew that the inherent message of Islam was communal and individual peace in all parts of the world. I also knew that Islam respects the freedom of belief and guarantees the safety and independence of followers of other faiths. In fact, during the Islamic Empire, non-Muslims were not coerced to convert to Islam. They had the freedom of choice and if they chose to remain non-Muslims, they had to pay a higher rate of taxation. By virtue of this taxation, they were classified as dhimmi (protected) communities and were allowed to regulate their internal affairs. This is what I knew as a Muslim and as a student of Islamic classes.

My definition of Islam was reinforced when I attended the Friday jumaa prayer at a Guianese mosque in Queens and the words of the imam resonated throughout the mosque and throughout our hearts. He alluded to the 35^th Quranic verse of Surat Al Ma’ida or the Table Spread saying that “if anyone slew a person-unless that person was charged for murder or for spreading mischief in the land-it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people. He also referred to a hadith delivered by the Prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, saying that “anyone who kills a person from among the people with whom there is a treaty…will not smell the fragrance of Paradise, although its fragrance reaches to a walking distance of forty years i.e. will never enter it (Reported by Al-Bukhari). I also remember the imam telling us that if anyone of us thinks that the acts of September 11^th were justifiable, then we were not true believers. We did a prayer, salat el janasa, for the Muslims that died at the World Trade Center.

I was so moved by the imam and I wished he could address the entire nation. I wanted every American who thought that Muslims were rejoicing at this event, as the media had so proclaimed, to hear his words and to hear his condemnation of the entire attack. I also wanted them to hear his condemnation of the terrorists, suicide bombers, whom he believed were going straight to hell for taking their lives, an act that only our Creator, Allah, is responsible for.

The imam had so eloquently described the feelings and sentiments of thousands of Muslims in the United States and throughout the world. I left the mosque that day at ease and although I felt the disapproving stares of people as I was walking home, I felt proud to be a Muslim.

I felt horrible for all the families that had to face the horrible news of having lost a loved one. I felt for the mothers that would no longer see their sons and daughters, the husbands and wives that would no longer be with one another, and most of all for the children that would never and will never understand why they lost their parents. The events of September 11^th were to forever change the lives of many people.

I also thought of those who were suffering the horrible fate of not knowing whether their loved ones were dead or alive. Shortly after the event, I remember walking through the avenues of New York City and feeling as though I was walking in a cemetery. Photographs of deceased or missing persons, candles, and flowers draped the city. The mood was dismal and bleak.

Everybody was talking about the events of September 11^th, and telling their own personal accounts of the date. I engaged in many conversations with people, some that had lost loved ones, and others that had lost hope. I truly sympathized with each and every one of them. However, many of the conversations turned hateful towards Islam and the Middle East. I remember one person telling me that the “United States ought to blow up the entire Middle East.” I will never forget that comment for as long as I live. I was outraged and automatically began defending my faith and my native land. “Do you honestly think Islam condones such an act of violence?” “Do you think all Arabs should pay the price of what a handful of criminals were responsible for?” The responses to my questions were repulsive and were loaded with hate rather than logical answers.

And it was then that I realized that the main issue at hand was ignorance. People were ignorant of Islam as well as the political, cultural, and social context of the Middle East.  People needed to be educated and I decided to take that issue into my own hands whenever possible. I tried to defend my faith and my people using a rational approach and although I was shut out on several occasions, I was still raising important issues and making relevant points.  I also decided to donate blood to demonstrate my support for the United States and my discontent towards the whole situation.

However, the events following the horrific attacks of September 11^th were truly disturbing for the Muslim community and I am sure for other supportive communities as well.  I read about a Muslim man that was brutally assaulted simply because he had a beard and was walking about in a Muslim neighborhood. I read about the Muslim shops that were being vandalized, mosques being bombed, and the Muslim women that were being attacked. Some women had their scarves snatched off of their heads while others were being physically attacked. Still yet others, had to suffer verbal attacks, defaming and slandering comments, and looks of disgust.

Once again, the imam of the mosque addressed this issue and cautioned veiled women to take their precautions by trying to avoid being alone. But taking their precautions would mean a downright attack on their freedom to practice their religion, a right guaranteed to every American citizen in the Bill of Rights. Why couldn’t Muslim women continue to lead normal lives, without the fear of being attacked, and why should they be denied their basic rights? I was angered but nonetheless agreed that certain precautionary measures had to be taken by our communities. Much like the measures that had to be taken by our country to defend our land.

It was the first time that I felt unwelcome in the country of my birth. And as the days started to pass, I felt uneasy speaking Arabic with my sister and other friends but I kept reminding myself that I had nothing to fear because Allah was watching over me.

I started working a month after the terrorist attacks and upon being asked about my native country, I said Egypt. One of my co-workers, started to yell about how Arabs threatened the stability of a life she had so eagerly wanted to give her son. She yelled at me as though I was somehow responsible or involved. I promptly reminded her that as a resident in New York, my Islamism and my Arabism, did not protect me from that lack of stability. I reminded her that my life was also in jeopardy because such an attack knows neither innocent from evil nor justice from injustice. She coward at my response and although she did not know what else to say, she had said enough. She had angered me and again I was feeling the racism and bigotry being harbored in the minds of ignorant people. 

When the anthrax scare spread over the United States and the media maliciously covered the topic in all of its national and local newspapers, again I started to feel the racist comments. A co-worker gave me a belligerent look when she said “and now the Arabs are starting up with this anthrax thing.” I quickly reminded her that the anthrax scare was a domestic problem and that there were hundreds of terrorist groups in America that could be responsible. But again, I was angered at why she hastily decided that the Muslim world was responsible. Why was our religion under attack? Why was the media reinforcing this attack and causing the American public to hate Islam?  

The answers to those questions are still in the process of being answered and various discourses will lend various theories.

I learned a few things this year. I learned that ignorance and hate are the root of all evil and the only way that they can be eradicated is through education. I learned that bigotry and racism can displace certain ethnic groups, but they must go on living in the manner that they have been. But most of all, I learned that I must be able to confront ignorant and racist comments and situations, to defend my faith and to defend my way of life