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Hajj Diary: Three Weeks and So Much to
Do*
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Pilgrims
performing Hajj
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These
days, everyone is asking me how I am preparing for Hajj. After all, there are
only three weeks to go. Three weeks! It hardly seems real that the time
is so close. I’m still tangled in the weaves of domestic and work life. It’s
a cycle of kids, their school and activities, home duties, work duties, and
such. Time plods along so unforgivingly and quickly.
There
are a lot of logistics to take care of before we depart. I am sewing up the
practical loose ends fluttering around our lives right now: Instructing my
in-laws in the fine care of sending my son off to school—the New York school
bus system can be mighty tricky at times! Trying to find someone to drive him to
his important after school activities, spending extra time with my toddler
daughter so she doesn’t get too upset when we go, finishing up freelance work,
getting the apartment in order… so many things.
Even
now, as I sit to write this entry of my Hajj diary, I am constantly interrupted
by one child or another who has woken up and needs to be comforted back to
sleep. Another huge weight in our lives right now stems from the care we are
giving to our friends’ baby daughter.
Currently
we are this baby’s “foster” parents, or temporary guardians. To make a
long story short, our friends were at an `Eid party when their daughter fell and
sustained a fractured head. She was admitted to a hospital in Manhattan and she
underwent surgery. Al-hamdu lillah, it was successful and the baby is
doing fine now.
But,
in the meantime, a horrible thing happened. The hospital’s doctors and New
York’s child protection services accused our friends of child abuse due to the
nature of the fracture. (A more outright injustice there never was.) And, in a
numbing whirlwind of activity, the powers-that-be swiftly went to court and took
custody of the child. It was shocking and unbelievable.
The
baby immediately needed a home to go to; else she would probably have been
thrown into a non-Muslim home. So, my husband and I, who live in the same
building as our friends, quickly agreed to become temporary guardians for the
baby. She has been with us for nearly four weeks now while her parents fight the
case tooth and nail.
The
child abuse trial is going on this week. We are living with bated breath and
subsisting on a diet of steady prayers to Allah that He will allow truth to
prevail and this child to go back home. It’s a tense time, to say the least.
My husband and I want this to end now—for the sake of our friends and for our
sake. Because if things get postponed and the custody battle takes more time,
the baby will have to go to someone else’s home while we are away at Hajj. No
one wants that to happen.
So,
when I am asked if I am preparing for Hajj and how I am preparing, I laugh a
twisted laugh inside. Yes, we are preparing in some ways—my father-in-law has
written a whole document about how to do Hajj. My parents are constantly giving
us advice and telling us stories about their Hajj experience and I’ve bought
some new clothes to wear while in Mecca and Medina. We’re also looking for a
video that shows in detail how to do Hajj and what to do in all situations.
But
these are all cursory things. Truth be told, I haven’t really read that much
at all. I’m unsure of what to pack, how to pack, what prayers to read and at
what time, and so on. I figure I’ll read it all when I’m on the plane
traveling to Cairo and on to Jeddah, then Medina.
Right
now, we’re preparing for Hajj by praying for our friend’s case to conclude,
for their baby to go back to their home. I’m preparing by questioning my daily
activities and wondering how I will conduct them when I return. Every time I
turn on the TV to watch some fairly benign sitcom or some stupid reality show, I
suddenly wonder if I should be doing so—will I be doing so when I return?
What
kind of person will I be? Will I be a better Muslim? I hope so. How will we, as
a family, strike a better balance? Case in point: This evening my husband was
digging through a pile of CD-ROMs looking for a particular one. He found an old,
unlabeled disc and was about to throw it out when he decided to pop it into the
computer and see what it was. I was in the other room when I faintly heard
music: “From the rooftops shout it out, Baby, I’m ready to go!’” I ran
into the other room. “Why are you listening to Republica?” I asked him. “I
haven’t heard that CD in a long time! It takes me back to my college days of
listening to music in the car as I drove to campus.”
We
had a sobering laugh as my husband pointed out how different our life is now as
compared to when we were in college. Kids, responsibility—you know, an adult
life. And for me, a lot more spirituality and a lot less obsession with pop
culture. Life experience has put me on that path. Life experience has brought me
to this point of fulfilling my Hajj obligation. So what will that path be like
when I return? Whatever it will be, in sha’ Allah, it will always be healthy
and enjoyable and better than now.
*
Dilshad
D. Ali, an IslamOnline correspondent for the arts and culture section for the
past three years has made her intention to go for Hajj this year with her
husband, Mr T. Ali. This diary will chronicle her preparations—physically and
mentally—leading up to their departure on January 11, 2005, and will narrate
the experience itself and the feelings after.
**
Dilshad
D. Ali's
writing
reaches across the United States to address lifestyle topics pertinent to
Muslims and non-Muslims alike. Ali has covered movie premieres, film festivals,
art exhibitions, concerts, and numerous other cultural stories, including the
affect of September 11 on New York’s cultural landscape for IslamOnline. Ali,
a 1997 University of Maryland journalism graduate, resides in New York with her
husband and two children.
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