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Adolescence And Suicide
By Hwaa Irfan
15/03/2001
During the past 30 years, many countries have reported a significant increase in the rate of suicide among young people. Before, youth had less access to information, less affluence and more stable emotional and physical resources to draw on.
In 1978, in 51% of American households, both parents worked; by 1998, that figure had increased to 20%. Our society experienced many other changes during this period, including a profound change in the music youth are exposed to. Back then, it had more constructive lyrics.
Statistics show that, in 1997, 51% of teenagers drank alcohol, 35% smoked cigarettes, and 25% used drugs. More than 90% of today's twelfth graders say it is easy for them to get marijuana if they want it.
Their world is becoming even faster, crazier, and more violent. One in four young people consider suicide each year, says Dr. David Fassler, a child psychiatrist in Burlington, Vermont.
Slowly, both Muslims nurtured in the West and those living in Islamic societies who are exposed to the breadth of Western influences are becoming a part of this dilemma. As well, Muslim youth in the West also must confront negative information about Islamic and Arab societies on a daily basis. This, along with the back drop of peer group pressure, place extreme demands on youth to conform.
In one of the top Islamic schools in London, you can hear girls conversing about the domestic problems of their parents, what they've seen on television, or the latest pop music craze.
Working parents often come home too tired to engage in activities with their sons and daughters, who might be in need of parental guidance and support. The balance between the continued need to grant them attention yet respect their growing need for privacy becomes lost. And, unfortunately, parents' actions are often morally inconsistent with what they preach - indirectly teaching their young that morality and ethics are negotiable.
All of these factors result in an emotional vacuum that, fundamentally as humans, youth must fill. And when parents abdicate power, teenagers create their own rules and find alternative support mechanisms. It becomes increasingly more difficult for parents to sense what their young people are experiencing, especially if their teens have determined that "it is too late."
Many young people create opportunities to be "in" with their peers through petty crime, violent acts or relationships with the opposite gender. And increasingly, young people are becoming inappropriately involved with using the Internet. According to a survey conducted by Bret Begu for Newsweek, only 38% of parents reported sitting with their children aged 11 to 15 while online, and 9% sat with their 16 to 18 year olds. Thirteen-year old Mike L. from New York, with his own laptop, spends his time online unsupervised sending e-mails and participating in chat rooms that include adults as well.
"You go in and someone offers what they've got stored in their computer," he said to Newsweek last year. And the lenient sentencing of 'Wonderland,' an Internet pedophile club, last month will not do much to deter Internet transgressions. It had featured a 24-hour Internet library containing more than 1,263 children featured in pictures and videos, with some in a state of torture. The club escaped detection for five years because of their powerful gatekeeping and encryption device, and a rulebook on how to escape detection by the police. Unfortunately, not all of the members have been found and, unfortunately again, one of them was named Ahmed 'Ali (nicknamed "Caesar").
While feeling good about Muslim adolescents entering Internet cafes to use their facilities in countries where home computer use is not as common, one then notices that some, not all, of them are there to engage in chat rooms and view pornographic material. And the recent news that filtering software fails to block one out of every five sites deemed objectionable is discouraging.
As Muslim parents, we have a greater responsibility than even other parents because our duties are far more clearly defined. However, while fulfilling that responsibility, we must still allow them to be open with us and not cause them to shut down into a private world. That will only increase any emotional imbalance and contribute to any sense of frustration, isolation and distress that they may be facing in their lives.
Summing it up to them being of a 'different generation,' or viewing it as just 'a phase' (although elements of both may be true), prevents parents and teenagers from recognizing anti-social behavior as a call for help.
Suicide comes as the result of troubled personalities; for whatever reasons, as parents, we must be vigilant. If we truly value our young, we must do our best to see that at least one parent is there for them when they get home from school. All young people need the opportunity to be frank, ask questions, and receive supportive answers. Hiding truth from them sends mixed messages and only creates an atmosphere of distrust. We must try not to belittle their confidence or their concerns. Depending on how serious the dilemma our youth may be facing, we may need to seek support from family and friends so that they have a network on which to depend. We can look for support in our community, and if we look for professional help, we should aim at finding a doctor who is sensitive in his or her approach to culture and religion.
If prescription anti-depressants are deemed necessary, be aware that once the chemical serotonin, found in anti-depressants, is suppressed in the central nervous system, it can cause suicidal, aggressive or violent tendencies even though it is designed to control this type of behavior.
Also, we should look out for dietary and environmental triggers that can possibly be a cause for mental illness and suicidal tendencies.
The Risalat ul Haquq states, "The right of your child is that you should know that he is from you and will ascribe to you, through his good and his evil, in the immediate affairs of this world. You are responsible for what has been entrusted to you, such as educating him in good conduct (husn al-adab), pointing him in the direction of his Lord, and helping him to obey Him. So act towards him in the direction of his Lord, and help him to obey Him. So act towards him with the action of one who knows that he will be rewarded for good-doing toward him and punished for evildoing."
Sources
Associated Press 2001. Filters Fail To Block Web Sites.
Beautrais, Al. Psychiatric Contacts Among Youths.
Golden, M. "Raising Sons Under Siege," in Essence, November 1989.
Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, May 1998
Walker, J. "Teens In Distress," University of Minnesota, 1997
WDDTY, Vol 5. No. 12
Wilson, J. "Dismay At Lenient Sentences for Net Pedophiles," in Guardian
Weekly, February 2001.
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