More and more I feel myself scurrying through life, trying to keep up and trying to be accepted and acceptable by so many kinds of people who have different outlooks and expectations. I am often caught up between being conservative, fashionable, and being prepared to do what it takes to be popular. I feel like I am being torn into little bits and pieces, and in the end, I still have problems with the people I am trying to please. What should I do?

The first stage of my inner growth had come to an end. One day, it struck me that, with the best of intentions, I had messed up myself and my life. But isn't that the way some of the most unimaginable things are done — with the best of intentions?

How many years of my life have I spent trying to conform to a society that is destroying itself from the inside? I have decided I am not going to walk that road anymore. I am not going to simply conform with the majority, even if it goes against my conscience and goals. The problem is, I have not really had goals up until now — except trying to please. But it's all changing now!

I have spent some time thinking about what I want to do and what I want to be. In fact, it is quite clear in my mind. What do I see? I see a person who is strong, yet calm, clever, yet humble, and helpful without being naïve. I see someone who soaks in the meaning of life from all the people I meet, all the situations I face, and all the mistakes I make. I'm a star gazer. It's great. In dreams, I soar like an eagle and overcome problems and never get hurt. This is the second phase of my inner growth.

First, I was a harem scarem approval junkie, second, an astronomer, a star gazer living in a fantasy world of dreams, hope, and ambitions. But the third phase is the most important, yet I have to say the other two were also important in setting the foundations of my life.

The third stage is where I become the astronaut and take the first plunge out of my current state and leap and strive to catch real hold of those illusive dreams. And throughout all those phases, I always carried a bag with me. This bag was really important. It represented my life and the direction I am taking. So sometimes it was heavy, like when I was an approval junkie, it was filled with unreasonable expectations, lack of self knowledge, heavy with nervousness and fear, and weighed down by self doubt and guilt. Then in the second phase (star gazing; the astronomer) it was so light; it felt like nothing was in it. And that was true. Dreams do not weight much.

Now the third phase is when I start packing my bag with care and planning. I make priorities and only include the things I will really need along the way. I decided that I didn't want a heavy bag that would weigh me down, nor did I want a bag that was empty and couldn't help me on my journey.

So, I packed all the important things that are light and easy to carry, such as family and sincere friends. I cast aside bad addictive habits, fear, and self doubt. I put knowledge in every part of that bag, in every nook and cranny. I colored it with forgiveness and poured love and mercy over everything. Then, I was ready, set to go anywhere my path would take me.

What's in your bag?

• The Power of Love

• From Who You Are to Who You Want to Be

• Abstain Now, Enjoy Life Later

• Releasing Grudges From Your Heart

• How to Keep Smiling When All Looks Bleak

• Why Do I Cry?