|
Women
and Youth in Chechnya
|
By
Umm Malika*
|
Jan.
30, 2006
|
 |
|
The
young people in Chechnya today are living out the changes that
are taking place as Chechnya grows from being a
"traditional" society to one that is coming to grips
with Islam as a way of life and with the modern world. In order
to fully grasp what it means to be a young Muslim woman in
Chechnya today, we have to understand the traditional view and
role of women in general in Chechnya.
Women
are mothers, daughters, sisters, and wives, and thus their roles
are pivotal and vital to all aspects of Chechen society. Their
influence is felt deeply in every corner of life. Because of
women's fundamental role, a nation can be judged by the way it
treats its women and their problems.
Back
to the Old Times
In
the older days, women in Chechen-Ingush societies were treated
with great respect. (Ingushetia is a republic in Russia
populated by a majority of Muslims and has a similar culture to
that of Chechnya.) If a woman were to intervene in a fight
between two men, the men would stop fighting. Vainah men
— men of our nation — could never continue fighting if a
woman intervened. It was considered shameful to hurt a woman, to
leave her unprotected, or to fail to support her properly. These
traditions have survived all the havoc that has been wreaked
upon our nation. If a Chechen-Ingush woman is in any place and
she calls on any Chechen-Ingush man for help, she can be sure
that help will come. Readiness to help and the amazing
generosity of our people, both men and women, are well-known
throughout Russia.
Relatives
Family
ties are very important. Young women in Chechen-Ingush society
are taught from the time they are small that even a relative who
was their enemy will support them or be there for them in times
of adversity. Poor or rich, they are taught to always care about
family relationships and to be kind to relatives. During
weddings or funerals, for example, all the relatives gather
together and each one presents a sum of money to the newly
married couple or to the family of the deceased. Everybody helps
each other. And young women are taught to help and to ask for
help.
Chechen-Ingush
society is divided into clans and tribes. Throughout any crisis,
not only the family, but also the whole tribe to which the
family belongs, gathers together to find a solution. This is a
nice tradition that makes the individual feel constant support
and never feel alone.
If
any member of a particular clan was murdered, the family of the
victim would avenge the murder or publicly forgive the murderer.
This Islamic concept became a tradition in Chechen-Ingush
societies.
Preservation
of Dignity
Preservation
of one's dignity means everything to Chechan-Ingush men. One
should be careful not to even joke to insult Chechen men; their
dignity is a very sensitive matter. They cannot be controlled.
There has never been slavery in Chechnya. Chechens have to take
care not only of themselves and their family, but they also must
be careful not to blemish the reputation of their clan. Thus
they have to be careful of what they say because sometimes even
a small fight has led to a bloody revolution.
There
has never been a monarchial institution in Chechnya and there
has never been a Chechen king. Of course there were and remain
the elite who employ their fellow Chechens; however, these
latter are doing respectable work and are considered to be like
brothers of their leader and are treated with respect. How could
someone impose control over these people who have been brought
up like that and to whom death is better than loss of dignity?
In
Chechnya, it is shameful for a man to express his feelings or
even to show that he cares in front of others, including his
family. No one is allowed to shout at or to treat the man in the
family with the least disrespect. His word is law over the
women. He can shout at his wife or sister, and this is not
considered to be an insult, even by the woman herself. It does
not mean that our men are bad to their womenfolk, but this
emotionless attitude is part of the culture.
The
woman is supposed to take good care of her husband. She must
wake up early, prepare food, and take good care of her husband
and his things, including his guest. She must consider
everything connected to her husband as sacred.
Respect
for the Elders
One
thing that should be admired in Chechens is their deep respect
for their elders. If someone is sitting on a bus, and an elder
man or woman enters, all of the younger people who are sitting
will quickly stand up to greet the older person and offer their
seats. Children are only allowed to sit in front of their father
only with his permission, and only if he insists. Children never
answer back to their father while he is scolding them. They
always stand up when their father enters the room. A younger
person is obliged to do the same for any older relative, or any
older person for that matter.
Guests
People
from the Caucasus Mountains are famous for their hospitality. In
Chechen culture, a house that is full of guests is the most
honorable one. Guests should be offered the best food and the
best treatment. Even if someone's enemies were to visit, they
are supposed to receive the best treatment as long as they stay
in the house. Respect for the elders and the good treatment of
guests are Islamic traditions and are strictly followed in
Chechnya.
Women
A
woman in Chechan-Ingush society is expected to be the best
housewife and to be obedient, not only to her husband, but also
to her husband's family. A woman is supposed to be able to
encounter any difficulty, do hard physical work, and please
everyone in her care with kind treatment. From almost the second
day after marriage, the woman is supposed to wake up before
everyone else and start cooking and cleaning. She also must be
the last one to go to sleep.
A
newly married couple does not immediately leave the husband's
family, but stays with them for some period of time. The
husband's family may include his sisters, brothers, and parents.
Chechen people prefer to live with
their extended families, so most of the time, the wife is busy
with serving not only her husband, but also his relatives, for
whom she must wash, clean, and cook.
At
the same time, it is not fair to say that women are prisoners in
these societies. They work and they go out to attend to their
business. They are permitted to seek an education. However,
difficult economic conditions and a constant struggle to survive
put a great burden on Chechen women. Moreover, it has become
difficult for men to find work. It is common to see many women
spending their days in the markets, selling goods to support
their families.
Educated
women occupy good positions. However, they must perform these
extra roles, while also filling the role of being a good
housewife. In many Chechen extended families, the
daughters-in-law will not only cook and keep the house in an
amazing state of cleanliness, but will also work. It is
considered shameful for a Chechen or Ingush woman to have a
servant to help her.
The
question is, does this kind of life allow women to have the time
they need to develop themselves and their knowledge of Islam?
Some Chechen and Ingush families encourage their
daughters-in-law to pray and to wear a headscarf. But is this
enough for a people who profess to be followers of Islam?
Shouldn't the women have enough time to attend religious classes
and to learn about their religion in order to understand it
better and to teach it to their children? So much of children's
development depends upon the mother. It is in mothers' hands
that the future generation is nurtured and grows. So shouldn't
women be Islamically educated and equipped with knowledge and
skills to keep up with today's modern world?
Chechen-Ingush
men try to keep their wives under firm control so that the men's
family do not call the men weak. A husband's relatives exert
full power over his wife, who is not allowed to contradict them
and who must try to serve them so they can speak well of her to
her husband. If a woman's husband is not at home, she must ask
his family's permission to leave the house. She is free to work
and to study if her husband permits her to do so. Problems arise
when the spirit and laws of Islam are not complied with and when
the woman is controlled and judged by the entire family!
Our
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said that the best
Muslims are those who are best to their family. If we claim to
be Muslims, then we should follow what Islam tells us to do and
abandon those traditions that contradict Islam.
A
woman should not be blamed if she is unable or refuses to do all
the hard physical work in her husband's family's home. She
should also not be blamed if she defends herself within her
husband's family. Islam does not require a woman to have
neglected health and to be weak by not sleeping properly, by
having too much responsibility and too much pressure, stress,
and hard physical work.
Islam
teaches us that our bodies and minds have rights. Islam teaches
us that we should constantly strive to please Allah the Almighty
and that we should never strive to please someone who is asking
us to do wrong. We have the duty to be good to all people while
at the same time they have the duty to be good to us, and that
goes for mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law.
Nowadays,
Islam has started to flourish again in both Chechnya and
Ingushetia, so everything should start changing for the better.
The concept that the daughter-in-law has no rights and is
obliged to perform hard physical work for everyone in her family
is incorrect and should be immediately eradicated. Both men and
women should strive to build more and more centers where Muslims
can learn about Islam on a practical, everyday basis. Women in
particular should be encouraged to attend classes on Islam.
People
should not blindly follow what others claim to be Islamic
teachings. They should try to understand the beauty and wisdom
of Islam for themselves and to transfer this light of knowledge
to their children.
Divorce
Chechen
society has a long way to go before Islam shines in all aspects
of people's lives. Whether or not a woman receives her rights
when she is divorced depends on how religious her husband's
family is. Usually the man is free to kick his wife out of the
marital home (against the teachings of Islam) and to take their
children from her (which is also against the teachings of
Islam). A woman cannot usually defend herself or gain custody of
her children. Living in a male-dominated society makes the lives
of divorced and widowed women very difficult. Nowadays, it is
not easy for women to get married because so many men have been
killed in wars. If a woman doesn't get married, she will most
likely be treated with suspicion.
Even
in an unhappy marriage, most Chechen-Ingush women prefer to stay
in their marriage rather than to face divorce. They know that
there is a big chance of being kicked out of their husband's
house without anything, humiliated, and then being forbidden
custody of their children.
The
husband's relatives have a great influence on women's lives.
They are very often responsible for the happiness or unhappiness
of the married couple because they commonly interfere in the
couple's affairs to control their daughter-in-law. They can even
force the husband to divorce his wife if they are not pleased
with her. The idea that the daughter-in-law has many
restrictions imposed upon her, while her husband and his family
have none, is wrong and should be changed.
We
cannot blame this situation only on the men because women
themselves have had a part in creating and perpetuating it. In
many families the mother makes her daughters do everything while
at the same time she encourages her sons to be free of
responsibilities in the house. Sons are not obliged to help out
in the home or to even appreciate what women do. If a man did
so, this would be considered shameful by the women themselves!
It is women who often perpetuate the myth of the superwoman who
can do super work!
Women
should speak out about their rights. But to be able to speak,
they must first learn about their rights and about the religion
of Islam, which makes the life of women simple and honorable.
Read Also:
* Umm
Malika is a medical practitioner and can be contacted at youth_campaign@iolteam.com.
|
