The world is now filled with war and trouble and rumors of war. There is a lot of tension and misbehavior in many houses. Huge, ever growing cities are filled with violent crime, domestic abuse, and young people hanging around on the streets, unsure about their lives and their futures: they easily fall into fighting, violence, and behavior that damages themselves and others. If we watch the news, we witness a variety of forms of violence from all over the world. Such scenes have, unfortunately, become commonplace and often people no longer even react to horrific scenes.

Young people watch films that are exciting and spellbinding: films that are full of fighting, killing, threats, theft, manipulation, and corruption. Really, if a film doesn’t have any of these things it is often considered boring! They play computer games where you can kill and there are no consequences and where you even get points for killing. Cartoons also have their share of violence in our violent world. Haven’t you ever seen Jerry bashing Tom over the head with a heavy object—do you remember laughing when you saw that? Watch the reaction of your family or friends next time you are watching the news and a horrific incident is reported. Do they take another sip of tea, yawn, crack a joke, do their faces remain unchanged? How do you react?

If you happen to be a calm, peace loving person, you will feel troubled by all this, but at the same time, peer pressure might compel you to get involved. The question must be asked: Is it possible to stay away from violence in a world that seems riddled with it? If we can’t get rid of violence, can we learn to deal with it and not become violent ourselves?

The following pointers may help:

• Stay away from violent movies and computer games. Try to take up hobbies that will develop your body and mind instead of filling yourself with fear and the urge to harm others.

• Try to avoid going out at night when there is a chance you may be harmed or even confronted by a gang. Don’t walk the streets at night. Have a place to go and go there: don’t just hang around.

• Don’t get involved with violent gangs. The reason is that even though you might not want to get involved in violent behavior, the fact you are a member of the gang will mean you will be obliged to do what they want to do.

• If someone says or does something aggressive to you, try to control yourself and either ignore it or pacify the situation. Don’t return evil with evil.

• Make the intention of being a peace-loving person and learn how to remain calm when the tempers of others are high.

If you have an unhappy household, try not to reciprocate anger and irresponsible words and behavior. One bad word leads to another bad word, just like one bad action leads to another bad action. Try to be the one who returns bad with good. If you do this, you’ll get blessings from Allah and the whole situation may turn for the better. Here is an example of how not to react.

“Haven’t I told you a thousand times to put your things away you lazy thing!” father shouted as he glared in my face. He seemed to be stomping around the house looking for something to pick on and I was sick of it. I knew that if I said one word he would lash out at me, but a bubble was rising inside and I couldn’t control it, or rather, I didn’t want to control it. I said, “So what! Everyone in this house leaves something of theirs around sometimes. I’m not the first person in the world to leave a pair of shoes in the hallway.” I closed my eyes hoping to avoid the tirade that would inevitably follow but never mind, the satisfaction of getting that off my chest was worth it.

Some people who read this conversation may applaud the guts of the young person for standing up to a seemingly tyrannical parent, but, you know there is always something lying underneath a situation, something that may not be visible at first. In this situation, the father was ill; no one in the family knew it at the time. A month later he had a stroke and the young person felt guilty that their relationship had not been quite the same since that particular episode. Don’t you think this young person could have responded in a different and perhaps more positive way? (discussion forum)

Abuse can be in the form of physical abuse, verbal abuse, or sexual abuse. If you, or your friends, are being abused in any way, it’s important to keep the following points in mind:

• Don’t blame yourself for whatever happens. Sometimes adults do wrong things; you are the victim in this situation not the wrong doer.

• If you find there is no one in your home to help and support you, don’t turn to gangs for help. Find a grownup person you trust and ask them to help and advise you. It could be a teacher, someone from the mosque, or a trustworthy friend of the family. If you turn to someone your own age, he/she will not have the knowledge and experience to advise you properly and this is a very important and dangerous situation so you need the right advice. A grownup person is more likely to know about places you can go to or how to deal with everything.

Bullies

Bullies can make life miserable. You spend more time at school than you do at home; if you are the target of a bully, just remember that you’re probably not the only one. There was a girl I knew at school and the class bullies were making her life miserable, but she came up with a brilliant idea. She realized that she was not the only target of these nasty kids and so she went around the playground at lunchtime and invited all the other lonely, alienated kids to make their own little gang. When they found they were not alone and that they had support from people their own age, they started to feel more confident and the bullies backed off.

If this is not possible for you, then get a big brother or sister to interfere or a school friend who is older and has more influence. If this can’t be done, then see if there is a social worker in your school and go and tell him/her what is happening. The job of a social worker is to help you and protect you from such things and to find out why the bully is behaving like that—perhaps the bully is having problems at home. Anyway, just keep in mind that such things happen in life and we have to learn how to deal with all kinds of people.

If that does not work, tell your teachers and/or your parents and make sure they listen and understand exactly what is going on. Sometimes, adults think such things are just part of being kids and think it’s all a normal part of growing up, but it’s important to make them understand that it’s not normal and that you don’t accept it.

Conclusion

Life is full of tests and challenges and it’s important to remember that mankind has the tendency to be violent; it’s not a modern day phenomenon, even though violence has become more widespread and somewhat acceptable these days. Remember how the son of Adam (peace be upon him) killed his brother! Violence is a part of human life, but it is something that has to be controlled and dealt with. Our test is not to get caught up in all the fuss and violence, but keep our own identity of peace: return evil with good.

Allah the Almighty promises not to give you more than you can bear, so remember, if you have this test, be sure that you can see your way through it all.

Be a part of our worldwide online community of Muslims 4 Humanity: Muslims against violence.

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**Anthea Davis has worked for many years with the youth in the United Kingdom and can be contacted at youth_campaign@iolteam.com.