INTRODUCTION
² Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder ² as
the saying goes. Despite the fact that people differ in the way they
judge beauty, they all agree that beauty plays an important part in
their lives. As little attention has been given to “religious men”
to give their opinions about beauty, I will conduct this research to
explore all areas that make up true beauty from the perspective of a
sample of ² religious men ². In this study a religious man
is defined as a person whose heart is ²clean and healthy ². It
is cleansed from any passion that defies God’s commands; moreover,
his utterances, thoughts and actions are obedient to God. Therefore,
it is improper to assume that a good Muslim is limited to physical
appearance such as growing beard and letting the clothes hang down
before the ankle .There are many hadiths by the prophet may peace be
upon him that support this meaning. Al Bukhari narrated that Abu
Hurayra said that some people asked the prophet “Who is the most
honourable among people. He replied the most honourable among people
with Allah is the one who has the most taqwa.” Given this hadith,
one should mention that righteousness does not lie in the performance
of ritual prayers, but it extends to include good behavior, ethics,
fear of God with all actions. As people are judged by their actions, I
will limit my sample to preachers, ²Imams² and students at ²Dar Al
Hassania² to avoid any ambiguity that the definition of ²religious
men² inevitably generates.
It is worthy to note that the study which I have
conducted started on Tuesday, May 9th ,2006. I interviewed two ²Imams ²,
six preachers in Moroccan Arabic. I also asked twenty students at ²Dar
Al Hassania² to fill up the questionnaire that I had written in
standard Arabic. As far as the plan of this text is concerned, I have
sequenced the sections in what I consider to be an effective order.
The first part discusses the idea of beauty, the criteria that
“religious men” follow to choose their wives and their judgment
about the outer beauty. The second section deals which the inner
beauty and the characteristics of beautiful women. Moreover, it
reveals that the way “religious men” measure beauty invert the
image that the West holds. As there is much to say about beauty in
Morocco, I have invited researchers to conduct an extra study on this
subject.
Beauty is disengaged from land Physical appearance
The sense of beauty is a common right to every one
every where. No matter what is your gender, social position, race and
religion you are pleased to hear that you are a beautiful woman or a
handsome man. Your happiness can not be described in words nor can it
be measured by any scale. Beauty which is disengaged from any
locality is ingrained in people’s mind. They become obsessed with it
to the extent that women spend much time in sprucing up and cleaning
themselves before they go out. They may also cross the continent to
get the latest face cream or buy the fashionable trendy clothes. Mass
media teach women how to choose their own looks, what they should
dress, in Addition, media also promote a particular image of beauty.
The villain is always portrayed as ugly while the protagonist is
depicted as attractive. Our assessment of ourselves is based not only
on magazines and television, but also on looking at the universal
correlation of beauty. There is an agreement among cultures that skin
color on the spectrum of light to dark, facial symmetry, clear large
ayes are determinant of beauty. However, each society is unique in
their special way. In Three Faces of Beauty, Sussan Ossman uses the
concept of heaviness and lightness. Lightness is associated with
wealth whereas heaviness is linked to domestic space. In western
societies men consider light women as wealthy while in some parts of
Africa
heavy women are linked to abundance.
Beauty is perceived from a religious perspective
Beauty is also interpreted within a religious
context. This has a significant effect on how women are judged by
religious men. Islam does not scorn or debase physical beauty nor does
it relegate inner beauty to secondary position. A husband can be proud
that his wife is righteous, but will enjoy the fact that she is
beautiful. In the research that I conducted with students at ²Dar Al
Hassania², preachers , and prayer leaders or « Imams »,
I asked my informants to answer the following questions. Would you
marry a beautiful and pious woman ? A beautiful woman who has
lack of religion or a pious woman of average physical attractiveness ?
more than 70% of the informants preferred a beautiful woman who is
pious while 28% wanted to get married with a pious woman of average
physical attractiveness. But why? Many students at² Dar Hassania²
said that the prophet may peace be upon him urges the believers to
marry a pious woman. He said, “Succeed with the one with religion,
may your hands be in dust[1]”.
The were also interesting and valuable replies. A teacher at ²Dar Al
Hassania² mentioned that “ Beauty which is one of the prerequisite
of perfection makes a marital life more stable ². Another
informant said that “Man is inclined to beauty.” However, what
type of physical beauty do my informants refer to? Is it associated
with the face, the body or the shape. In other words, is beauty
universally and culturally conditioned? One has to examine these
questions and answer them for the sake of clarity.
How does religious men perceive beauty
A preacher informed me while I was interviewing him
that a blind woman is beautiful. It did not occur to me that I would
hear such an answer that is meaningful and has deep insight. His
argument shows that there is no reliable truth in measuring physical
beauty. Moreover, each one has his own taste and preference. This is
endorsed by a student at ²Dar Al Hassania² who pointed out that
physical beauty differs from one person to another. Moreover, beauty
should not be isolated from other values such as the degree of
devoutness and familial environment. Another student believes that
beautiful women are sought after ; however, there is another kind
of beauty. A man has to establish a legal relationship with a woman to
figure it out.
There are also two interesting statements that I
would like to add. The first one is that physical beauty is associated
with ‘hijab’ or veil. The woman who is beautiful is the one who
wears veil and respectable clothes. Allah says in the holy Quran,
“and say to the believing women that they restrain their looks and
guard their private parts, and that they display not their beauty or
their embellishment except that which is apparent thereof, and that
they draw their head-coverings over their bosoms, and that they
display not their beauty or their embellishment save to their
husbands”, (El Noor, #31). The second student simply said, “The
beautiful woman is the one who is cheerful and elegant.”
The reason behind getting married with a religious
woman
It is interesting to note that one of the reasons
that urges religious men not to marry women who are neglectful of
religion is what the preacher said to me after we had finished Friday
prayer. I prefer to marry a pious woman. In the holy Quran Allah says,
“And indeed, a slave woman who believes is better than (idolatress)
even though she pleases you. (AL Baqara, 2.221). The preacher then
remembered a hadith that was narrated by Said Al Khudri. The prophet
said: “Beware in marriage of Khadraa Al Dimam? What is Khadraa Al
Diman they asked? A beautiful woman who hails from a bad family. The
prophet said. There is another hadith that urges men to marry
religious women. The prophet may peace be upon him mentioned that
“The best woman (wife) is the one whom, when you look at her she
pleases you, when you command her she obeys you, when you are not in
her presence she safeguards herself and your belonging [2]».
The are some verses in the holy Quran that call
Muslim men to marry religious women. Take the example of surah An Nur
in which God says: “ And women of purity are for men of purity, and
men of purity are for women of purity ” (Surah An-Nur:26).
The features of physical beauty
Before I introduce the type of questions that deal
with beauty traits, the interesting Point I would like to make is that
Islam encourages the Muslim man to look at a woman before finalizing
marriage. This is supported by the Sunnah or the prophet’s
tradition. The prophet may peace and blessings be upon him allowed a
man to look at the woman with whom he intended to marry provided that
he had good intention. Let us take a look at this hadith. A man who
had got engaged to a woman of the Ansar came to the prophet who asked
him. Have you seen her? He said: No, so, the prophet ordered him to go
and see her “this is reported by Nisai and Ibn Majah. Given this
hadith, one has to bear in mind that good looks are important to
establish any legal relationship. Indeed, a preacher had revealed to
me before I made the questionnaire that in Morocco there are many attractive and beautiful women but said he wished that
what women displayed out side would be worn only for their husbands at
home. He went on to say that he likes the white skin woman who looks
like an Italian and the dark skin woman who resembles a Brazilian. He
also mentioned that a beautiful woman is measured by her prominent
lips, lustrous hair and large eyes. It is worthy to note that the
respondents I interviewed like big eyes. This indicates that clear
eyes are considered to be a high degree of attractiveness. The waist
to hip ratio is also a significant factor in measuring female beauty
as scientists have discovered.
The findings of my study concerning physical beauty
Despite the fact that my informants might not be
happy about the type of questions that I asked, they were really
cooperative. There were only a few who were reluctant to identify
their personal information or give their opinions. The questions
focused on women’s height, skin color and body shape. For example, I
asked if they preferred a thin or large woman or the one with
average build. A woman with white skin, dark or other. A woman who is
tall, short or of medium height. The result showed that the informants
preferred a woman with average build to slim one, a woman with white
skin to a woman with dark skin . They also like a woman with medium
height.
None of them opted for short women. In other words,
more than 75% of my informants chose a woman with white skin and with
average female build whereas more than 10% said that they liked dark
and slim women. The reason behind choosing women with average body
build springs from the Muslims belief that Islam is the religion of
the middle. This is confirmed by a preacher who said, “Ummatan
Wasatan.”That is God has made this nation a moderate one. Muslims
have to follow the middle path, the path that has no extremes or
excesses.
It is interesting to note that a few informants
refused to answer close questions that deal with body traits. One said
that these questions are personal. Indeed, neither are the respondents
preoccupied with body size nor do they conform to the ideal of body
height. They have instead narrowed the definition of beauty. According
to a student at² Dar Al Hassania² , “These features can
not be depicted by religious men who do place little importance on
“the nakedness” of a modern woman”.
Inner beauty and fine qualities
Does a woman need to wear ornaments to be beautiful
or become attractive? It is true if a woman who has a white skin looks
good but this is not a criterion for a person to evaluate her beauty
since her conduct and behavior gives her glamour. As the saying goes, ²Not
all what glitters is gold ². Physical beauty does not last but
the good deeds remain. There are many inner qualities that make a
person beautiful such as generosity and modesty. A generous ugly man
is admired by people. His friends meet him with a cheerful face and
his neighbours greet him. The mean who is handsome is distant from
people whom he knows. Neither do they like him nor do they feel ease
et his presence. There are people who may look physically ugly but
when you come in contact with them you feel that you are attracted to
them. They have kindeness on their tongue. They give you advice even
though you do not ask them. They support you when your relatives
abandon you. Indeed, a handsome person who lacks these qualities will
be certainly like an empty shell.
Examples of inner beauty
The persons whose wife, mother, and sister possess
good inner qualities are the luckiest one earth. Therefore, they
should be proud of them. A mother whose concern is the welfare of her
family and children is a beautiful woman. Her beauty lies in her care,
compassion and affection. When her child is ill, she stays up to
comfort him. If her husband is hungry, she spares him the need to eat
outside. Her time and money are spent not only on beauty products and
friends, but on educating their children decency and entertaining her
family. Praise to be Allah that there are a lot of mothers in Morocco who enjoy this quality. Thus, one has not only to kiss their hands but
inscribe their names in a golden ink as well. A student at ²Dar Al
Hassania² defines a Beautiful woman as the one who preserves her
chastity . As we speak about beauty in Morocco, there are women who support their poor families. Despite they are in
need , they retain their modesty and chastity. They bear patience and
remain firm no matter what the degree of their suffering.
Islam does not scorn superficial beauty
It is disappointing that there are beautiful women
who do not have good qualities. They will be more attractive if they
cleanse their heart of animosity, selfishness and individuality. Their
freedom will not be from ² heaviness” but in their engagement
in productive activities. Their large eyes will be more fascinating if
they have good insight.
²Their white skin will not be superficial if they
have a c1ean heart ², as one quoted in the questionnaire. It is
clear that 100 % of the respondents believe that true beauty lies in
inner beauty. The beautiful woman is the one who absorbs the teachings
of Islam and puts them into practice.
Although Imams, preachers and students agree that a
religious woman is beautiful, they vary in their description of her
inner qualities from ethics and shyness, to knowledge and
intelligence. Despite the fact that Islam does not scorn superficial
beauty, it evaluates inner beauty . God does not look at our faces but
at our actions. Each one of us is not rewarded by his or her
appearance but by his or her deeds whether they are good or bad.
Concealment of women's adornment is also seen as an aspect of
beauty . Islam urges a woman to make her self beautiful for her
husband. The evidence comes from Aicha the mother of believers. Bakrah
bint 'Uqbah came to Aicha ( May Allah be pleased with her ) and asked
her about henna. 'A 'ishah said, "It comes from a good tree and
pure water. " She asked her about removing body hair, and she
said, "If you have a husband, and you could remove your eyes and
replace them with something better, then do il[3]."
The Characteristics of a beautiful woman
Among the characteristics of a beautiful woman is
not only her obedience to her creator but also in her useful
knowledge. A woman has to be aware of her right towards God and in her
relationship with her family, friends and community. Knowledge will
allow her to distinguish between good and bad. Moreover, it will
broaden her mind and elevate her status. The more she learns, the
modest she becomes . Useful education will also help her to bring up
her children according to Islamic teaching , express her opinion and
help her husband to solve the problems they daily confront. This
discussion of the intellectual quality of a woman indicates that she
is beautiful if not the most beautiful one that a husband may like. By
virtue of her understanding of Islamic teaching, the beautiful woman
can not cheat nor tell lies. Her fear of God and her willingness to
seek his pleasure urges her be shy and not engage in any illicit
behaviour. When she is in a public place, she lowers her gaze. There
is no man who dares speak to her .The beautiful woman prefers to do
something useful rather than wasting her time in useless things. At
night or during the day she devotes some time to read the holy Quran ,
celebrate the remembrance of God , as an informant said .
One should be optimistic and be happy that this
world is still worthy of living since there are also women whose
concern is to serve their religion and devote their time of the
uplifting of their community in various spheres. This idea is
supported by a university teacher and at the same time a preacher. He
said, "The beautiful woman is the one who is involved in
preaching activities" Teachers are the best people on earth .
They play an essential role in the society they live in . The energy
that they invest make them so beautiful . Each time that they go to
the grocery store, the library, to school, or to any other public
place, people greet them warmly. The preacher woman is loved by young
and old men or women . They invite her , pray for her. On the other
hand , a woman who plays no role in society can attract men physically
but she may not receive the same degree of love and admiration.
The beautiful woman brings joy and peace
A woman does not need to wear tight clothes or to
put make up to capture one's heart. She does not have to be skinny or
slim to be attractive. A beautiful woman is the one whose soul is
purified by religion. Neither does she harm others by foul words nor
does she spread malicious gossip. She only fills the heart of those
around her with joy and put smile on their lips . A beautiful woman is
the one who is righteous as the prophet said[4],
«This world is nothing but temporary conveniences and the greatest
joy in that world is a righteous woman”.
Religion calls for kindness conduct,
tolerance, shyness and cheerfulness. The attractive woman is the one
who possesses these qualities and uses them in her daily life and with
her friends, parents, husband and her community. In her home she
overlooks her husband 's mistakes and does not remind him of them .
This is supported by a preacher who wrote, "Her beauty lies on
the one hand in her manners, in showing respect for her husband and on
the other hand on endearing her self to him and caring about her
family welfare². The best woman is also a good cooks as young ² imam²
pointed out. There is an English proverb, which says that the way to
an English’s man heart is through his stomach. Now I can say that
the nearest way to this religious man’s heart is through cooking a
delicious meal.
Beauty is associated with intelligence
Beauty is also associated with intelligence. An
attractive woman is the one who is smart. She uses her wit to solve
her problems and to achieve her goal. If her husband is angry, she
remains silent . When he asks her to do something , she obeys him.
When she wants to get something from her husband or her father, she
chooses the right moment. The smart woman is the one who gains the
sympathy of people. At work she does her work properly and meets her
colleagues with a cheerful face. She does not reveal their secrets or
mistakes to her employers. In her relationship with people she makes
them love her . When some one dies, she comforts the distressed person
and lightens his or her misfortune and grief. When there is a wedding
or happy occasion, she offers her help. The beautiful woman is not the
one who attracts people by her way of walking but by making them
admire her. The respondents who answered the questionnaire like the
intelligent woman. They are all aware that this quality besides her
obedience to God will urge her to choose a pious husband who will help
her in matters of goodness or piety. Moreover, getting married with a
religious man will spare her the need to go through emotional abuse
that comes in the form of threat.
It is interesting to note that my respondents
believe that getting married with smart women will bring them joy,
peace and harmony.
There is no one who is ugly
The criteria that religious men use to perceive
women as beautiful invert the image that the west holds. Ugliness has
to be redefined since all people have qualities that make them
beautiful. We should not be obsessed with our outer beauty nor be
demoralized by the artificial standard of beauty. God has created us
in the best stature. Therefore, we do not need to look at the mirror
to evaluate ourselves.
Beauty is part of us. It is in our soul, heart,
thought, feeling, tongue and hands. A black doctor can save the lives
of many by his hands. A short woman may put smiles on the lips of many
just by cracking a joke. A fat woman can invent a new device that may
help humanity. The point that God has created man in the best form is
supported by the holy Quran and the prophet’s tradition. The prophet
may peace be upon him teaches Muslims a beautiful supplication which
will certainly send tranquility into their heart and provide them with
self-satisfaction. In order to experience this true happiness one has
to say, O Allah, as you have made my appearance beautiful, likewise
make my character beautiful[5].
On the holy Quran, Allah says to mankind: you can
see no fault in the creation of Ar-Rahmaan (the Most Merciful Then
look again: can you see any rift ? then look-again and yet again,
your sight will return to you in a sate of humiliation and worn out.
(Qur’an Al-Mulk (67): 3-4).
Tips on how women can attract men
We have seen so far that beauty is in the eyes of
the beholder whose choice is conditioned by cultural, religious and
social environment. While some cultures perceive thin women as
beautiful others see that large ones look good . Religious men do not
scorn the universal correlation of beauty but they place much
importance on inner beauty . In Western and other societies the quest
of beauty has become a major concern for many women who do all in
their power to look beautiful. If some one opens up women magazines,
he will certainly notice that their contents deal with body image and
fashion. Moreover, women magazines also contain tips on how women can
attract men. It seems particularly fortunate that there is a beautiful
text that Muslim scholars use to support their arguments. Despite the
fact it dates back to the preislamic period, it is full of wisdom and
dissimilar to the tips one may find in magazines and other sources.
Abd al-Malik (Radiyallaahu 'anhaa) said: " When 'Awf ibn Muhallim
al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the
Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to
al-Harith ibn 'Amr al-Kindi, as she was made ready to be taken to the
groom, her mother, Umamah came into her room to advise her and said:
"O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this
advice because of good manners and noble descent , then it would have
been unnecessary for you , because you posses these qualities, but it
will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help
those who are wise. "O my daughter, if a woman were able to
without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for
her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a
husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for
them. “O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you
grew up, where you first learnt to walk, to go to a place you do not
know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he
has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will
become like a servant to you. “Take from me ten qualities, which
will be a provision and a reminder for you: ‘The first and second of
them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for
contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's
husband pleases Allah. The third and fourth of them are: make sure
that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in
you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you.
Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is
better than the rarest perfume. "The fifth and sixth of them are:
prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging
hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him
angry. "The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his
servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for
taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking
care of his children and servants shows good management. "The
ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets
you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you
disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you[6].
It should not be possible to conclude this chapter
without remembering the perfect women whom God has praised in the holy
Quran. These women have been known for their modesty, righteousness
and religious qualities. God loves not only Maryam and also the wife
Pharaoh , Allah said : "O Maryam! Worship your Lord:
prostrate yourself, and bow down (in prayer) with those who bow
down"[s.3;v.43]. "And Allah sets forth, as an example to
those who believe, the wife of Pharaoh: behold she said: 'O my Lord,
build for me, in nearness to Thee, a mansion in the Garden'
"[s.66;v.11].
1 should also add that the wives of the prophet may
God bless all were best model of modesty, mercy , tolerance, shyness ,
generosity and other fine qualities. Not only did God praise our
mother Khadija, but he ordered Gabriel to convey his regards to her as
well. Gabriel said to Muhammad (pbuh): "O Muhammad! Khadija is
bringing you a bowl of food; when she comes to you, tell her that her
Lord greets her, and convey my greeting, too, to her." When he
did so, she said: "Allah is the Peace, and He is the source
of all peace, and upon Gabriel be peace." Narrated by Muslim and
Bukhari.
Conclusion
This research reveals many ideas and information
about beauty in Morocco.
Most informants who are not acculturated spoke in
their voice. Their opinions about beauty spring from their strong
beliefs in the prophet' s tradition, in the holy Quran and their
personal choice . According to them beauty is what is found inside. It
is only evil acts and sins that make us ugly . Thus, the human has to
improve his inner qualities to become more attractive.
I must my self close this research with an idea or
suggestion. As little attention has been given to 'religious men' , 1
would be grateful if other researchers will make an extra research in
this field because there is much to say about this subject .
In the end, let us follow the path of the prophet
and absorb his teaching so that we will succeed in our lives and we
will be the most attractive people.
Bibliography
Robin Gerber « Beauty and body image in the media « No
date provided.http://www.media-wareness.ca/english/issues/
stereotyping/women_and_girls/women_beauty.cfm. »
Susan Ossman. Three Faces of beauty: Casablanca, Paris, Cairo, Durham
and London: Duke University Press, 2002.
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia “Physical attractieness”, May2006
« http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness. »
APPENDIX A
Questionnaire:
This questionnaire is designed to get a full grasp
of religions men’s perceptions of beauty.
Please answer the following questions.
1) Who is the special woman in your eyes ?
* The one with white skin
* The one with dark skin
* Other.
2) Do you prefer
* A large woman
* A thin woman
* Other
3) Do you like a woman who is
* Tall
* With medium height
* Short
4 ) would you marry with
* A beautiful and a pious woman
* A woman who has lack of religion but beautiful
* A pious woman of average physical attractiveness
why?
.................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................
5) what are the unique features that you find
appealing in a woman?
.................................................................................................................................
.............................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................
6) What are the characteristics of a beautiful
woman ?
.................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................
The interview
The interview questions
1 - What are the features that you find appealing
in a woman?
2 - What are the characteristics of a beautiful
woman?
3 - Would you marry with:
* A beautiful and a pious woman?
* A woman who has lack or religion but beautiful?
* A pious woman of average physical
attractiveness. Why?
4 - What attracts you to a woman ?
5 - What are the qualities that make a woman
special in your eyes?
[1] Bukhari
Volume 7, book 62, number 27.
[2] Ibn Majah, 1/595/ kitab al nikah, bab haqq al– zawj.
[3] 66 – Ibnal-Jawzi, Ahkam Al Nisa, 343.
[4] Sahih Muslim 10/56, kitab Alridaz, babistihbab nikah al bikr.
[5] The chain Isnaad of hadeeth is not authentic. But it is
authentically reported as supplication to be recited any time (See Ibn
Taimiyyah’s Al-Kalimat-Tayyib).
[6]
- Jamharah khutah al Arab, 1/145. Taken from www.zawaj.com
