Sardonic, South Africa

Assalaamu alaikum 

Sorry for responding long after the trail has grown cold. 

To be very honest, I believe a lot of what is happening in SA is a result of moral decay. And also a lot of frustration when it comes to government. People have lost faith in government and their ability to rule, while at the same time many have developed a misguided sense of entitlement. Transformation is taking place, perhaps not as fast as blacks would want and much too fast for whites. Affirmative action is creating deep divides in our community and has led to the Afrikaner feeling marginalized. It is a complex issue. Even our 'Indian' children are disgruntled with quotas and such when it comes to Universities and education. 

Having staggering amounts of foreigners in our midst has not helped matters either. The outlook seems bleak, or perhaps I'm, just being a pessimist. The ANC is now divided down the middle and one fears what the next election may well bring. 

As for writing an article, if only I had the time, I would love it. But life has served me a plate that is rather full right now. Perhaps someday I can return to writing. For now, it's work, work, work. 

FI amanillah
SS
July 15, 2008.

Abdulaziz, U.A.E.

How poor we are?

In the name of Allah, The Most Merciful, The Most Gracious

How poor are we?

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night...

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added,

"Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him said.

Riches does not mean having a great amount of property, real wealth is self-contentment.

Sahih Bukhari Book 81, Chapter 15. Narrator Hazrat Abu Huraira

May 28, 2008.

Fizz Khan

Upbringing & nurturing children

Mentality - be aware of it but don't let that destroy the family many people marry within a different culture - one must keep culture and religion separate (cultural deprivation) otherwise marital problems increase.

Women go thru a lot before/after having children & they need all the support they can get especially from their husbands - additionally if both parents stick to the same rules in order to bring up their children then children are more likely to listen to them, as they won't be confused or disobedient.

I hope & pray insha Allah that the new generation is brought up properly so that the world is a better place for all Muslim brothers & sisters.

March 26, 2008

Nasir

Pregnancy with out marriage/teenage

I would only add that West is just using women for pleasure & the so called laws and regulations only give them a feel of protection. In actuality, the protection is only given to the 'act' of getting into such relationship till the time the girl & boy want to remain engaged. Otherwise, there is hardly any religion divine or otherwise which allows such relationships & births. It is only Men who alters the laws to best suit his evil objectives.

March 2, 2008

Thureya

Title: teenage pregnancy

when a 12year old gets pregnant in UK, its ok-their health is already caretered for by the parliamentary provisions through contraceptives and all. when a 12year old is married off in Pakistan, Human Rights activists complain it endangers the health and mental capacity of the child. In one case a 12year old is free to be sexually involved as long as it is illegal intercourse while in the other the same age group is considered 'incapable' of involving in legal intercourse and a violation of their basic right. The world is coming to an end...wont you agree?

March 1,2008

Mohamed ,Canada

One Muslim at a Time

Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said:

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all of it is good, and that applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and if something bad befalls him he bears it with patience and that is good for him."

Narrated by Muslim (2999)

An American psychologist said: Living a happy life is a fine art which entails ten things:

Do a work that you love. If you cannot do that, then find a hobby that you love and do it in your spare time and reinforce it.

Take care of your health for it is the spirit of happiness. This means being moderate in eating and drinking, exercising regularly and avoiding bad habits.

Have a goal in life, for this will give you motivation and energy.

Take life as it comes, and accept the bitter and the sweet.

Live in the present, with no regret for the past and no anxiety about tomorrow that has not come yet.

Think hard about any action or decision, and do not blame anyone else for your decision or its consequences.

Look at those who are worse off than you.

Have the habit of smiling and being cheerful, and keep company with optimistic people.

Strive to make others happy so that you may benefit from the atmosphere of happiness.

Make the most of occasions of happiness and joy, and regard them as necessary to renew your own happiness.

Making a Difference, One Muslim at a Time

“Do people imagine that they will be left at ease because they say 'We have faith!' and will not be tested? But certainly We tested those who were before them..” [Quran 29:2-3]

March 3, 2008.

Tomorrow marks the 2nd anniversary of my husband's release from an Egyptian jail where he suffered torture.

I am a freelance journalist and would like to submit a piece for the website. It is from my point of view, the wife left raising the kids for four years alone as well as running a successful human rights campaign for her husband's release.  I was in Egypt at the time of the raid. I also visited my husband in jail many times and met the families of Egyptian prisoners with some phenomenal stories.

Now that it is all over for us legally, is it really over at home on the emotional and day to day front?  With the recent convictions of the 'paint-balling' Muslims in the UK; I would like to add color to this type of story by providing insight of what life is like for those left behind.

I do not expect to be commissioned for this.

Please let me know if you are interested in running this.  

JazakumAllah khair.

Wasalam.

hope all are had or having a good weekend inshaa Allah,

i have found this link and it is for teaching Arabic for free, it is very well developed website and it shall serve all levels as well from beginner to advanced

it is really a good start, may Allah bless who done such work

Please click here http://www.madinaharabic.com/

Salamo aliakom

Sardonic, South Africa

Shamsuddeen, S. Africa

http://www.mciindia.org/helpdesk/how_to_start/new_college.htm

Wahida

My sincere hope is that 2.5 million or more Muslim who went to hajj had a great transformation of their heart and soul and will come back all charged up to  fight against in justice,  poverty, and oppression.   Hajj must have a greater purpose than just a ritual  in which the hajj are supposedly have all their sins removed and  return  pure as a new born baby.  Every act of Ibadah as I understand it  has a social and psychological component to it and that demand actions, struggle and sacrifices. The Qur'an casts a wide net concerning our social and moral obligations, and these can only be fulfilled if we are actively engaged in the process of creating a just society in a just world.

Have You Seen?  <>Consider this small Surah in the Qur’an:  Have you seen the one who consciously denies the system [of the Qur’an]?  It is he who will repel the orphans and will urge not feeding the needy.  Woe unto those who worship, yet are headless of the purpose of it.  Who could be seen at worship but refuse even small necessities to the needy? (Qur’an 107:1-7)

Pauline, Australia

Looking at one of the topics called "more beautiful than whom?" I am amused to see that the person asking the question thinks there are not as many beautiful Muslim women as there are non Muslims. If that person ever sees those non Muslim sisters without make up they would be in for a shock ha ha ha

Before any color is even applied the skin is coated in concealer, primer and then foundation. Then starts the coloring in. There is the blush to highlight the cheekbones, the several different shades of eye color plus eye liner, mascara primer, then mascara and eyebrow pencils (the eyebrow is shaped by waxing of course) then lipstick and lip liner.

This is all set with a powder. Then there is the hair which is tinted and colored and blow dried and curled or straightened ....... We haven't even got to the clothes or the surgery, or the implants, or the injections .....

Beautiful? Yes ... but most paintings on canvas's are beautiful. Make up is amazing. Truly it is. And for the most part is filled with poisons.

I believe that you are part of a team that works on www.IslamOnline.net   I am fairly new to that website, having found it is referred to in some of the discussions on Face book as a reference for more information on particular topics.  I have found it particularly useful.

I guess what I have to offer is the fact that I have done a lot of spiritual work on myself long before I came to Islam and I also see many places where other religions, yoga and meditative practices overlap with what Islam teaches.  Which makes Islam all the more valuable in my eyes as it is a comprehensive source of this wisdom that is scattered amongst the others I have delved into.  I also know why I willingly embraced Islam when it came into my life ...

Nov 22, 2007

Sardonic Scholar, South Africa

Muslim Youth Mentality

I have committed the ultimate folly of sending my kids to an Islamic School. I am now left frustrated with a system that is both archaic and pedantic, that does not encourage freedom of expression. Freedom of thought, well they've almost got a thought police in place. They are teaching my children all the narrow interpretations that I would rather not have them exposed to at all and worse, I am powerless to do anything about it.

So now what? Either I uproot then – yet again – and do the madrassah bit by myself. Or I go with the flow and tell them a different tale every time they come home and tell me stuff like, "You mustn't listen to Yusuf Islam. He is no longer a Muslim."

Now I'm not one for minding my P's and Q's, so when I hear gunk like that it takes all my self control not to spew out the first words that springs to the tip of my tongue. Then I take them aside and tell them the 'other' story. The one that is less judgmental and open to allowing people a point of view. Will this confuse them? Most like it will. That or leave them with an unhealthy disrespect for authority. Since authority has now been proven to be highly mistaken.

But that's not the only problem I have with Islamic schools. I have an issue with someone who tells my son that he cannot wear Bermudas on weekends and threatens to hit him (yes, you read right) for that. So yes, I'll go no further.

Yet it is in this same environment where my son is given the impression that name brands maketh the man. That cars put you up there, with the stars – the soccer stars – English Premier League. And that houses are meant to have six bedrooms and a movie theatre. Kids come to school and discuss – and exaggerate most wildly too (I wonder where they learnt to do that?) – the turnover in their father's businesses. And – wait for it – some even sell 'stuff' at school.

Something is clearly not right with the state of Islamic Schools. Is this a reflection of the moral decay that pervades our society and has driven us so far from the Path that is Islam that we cannot see it anymore? Hmmm, I wonder…

Nov 22, 2007

Mohammad, Canada

The method by which the Muslim acquires knowledge and thought is critical in determining the impact of the Islamic thoughts upon the individual.

If the method of acquiring knowledge was correct and based upon research, profound thinking, and analysis (as Allah (swt) ordered) then it will produce effective results, and such a person will turn into an ideological person who thinks in a distinct manner.

Allah (swt) orders the human being to think about many aspects of His Creation in a profound and enlightened manner:

"Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs for men of understanding." [TMQ 3:190]

"Do they not then consider the Qur’an carefully? Had it been from other than Allah, they would surely have found within it many contradictions." [TMQ 4:82]

"Tell Me! The water that you drink — is it you who causes it to come down from the rainclouds, or are We the Cause for it to come down?" [TMQ 56:68-69]

"He is created from a fluid poured forth — proceeding from between the back bone and the ribs." [TMQ 86:6-7]

"Do they not look at the camels, how they are created? And at the heaven, how it is raised? And at the mountains, how they are rooted and fixed firm? And at the earth, how it is spread out?" [TMQ 88:17-20]

In all of these five ayahs above, Allah directs the human being to think and analyze in order to build the Aqeedah (true belief) of Islam within him through a definite conviction.

Thus, the method that Islam encourages in pursuing knowledge is based upon the intellect and entails thinking, research, and analysis.

Examining Muslims today shows that the Muslims acquire Islam through three principle methods

The Scholastic, or Academic, Method

This method emphasizes delivering Islam as a curriculum in a scholastic format in which information, and not concepts and thoughts, is the substance. The student-teacher relationship is the approach of this method, and giving instructions constitutes its style.

If the student graduates, he will resemble a book that carries information and spits it out, and Islam would consist of nothing more than information dictated to him.

Such a person would repeat quotations from scholars and their works without any critical thinking or consideration to the evidences and arguments simply because he cannot do so.

His/her capability would be confined to relaying the information that was handed to him just as a database would download information when programmed to do so.

Studying Islam in this erroneous method will produce neither a thinker based on Islam nor a mujtahid, but will produce human textbooks whom the extent of their contributions will be limited to copying the works of others and writing some commentaries on them. Such a method could be useful in studying an information-based discipline such as geography or history.

However, it cannot be taken as a method of studying the foundation or Aqeedah and the thoughts because the Islamic Aqeedah or foundation and its thoughts must be acquired intellectually through a dynamic process of relating the thoughts to the situation until they become firmly-rooted thoughts and not just theoretical information carried by the person like the words on the pages of a book.

The Emotional Method

The essence of this method entails bringing stories and preaching Islamic personalities.

It depends on the emotional approach and not the thinking process in order to push a person to function.

Because this approach realizes that emotions by their intrinsic nature can get out of control, it depends on programming the individual in a specific way.

The individual who acquires Islam through this method will start learning that discipline and obedience towards the shaykhs and the mas’ooleen is a part of Islam.

This method is, relatively speaking, a new method because it was influenced by the psychological-based sciences that came with disciplines such as psychology, sociology, and education.

This approach does not regard man, life and the universe as the subject of thinking and research but instead places the human psyche and its development as the ultimate objective.

The scope of thinking and research remains restricted to the psyche of the individual through promoting its positive aspects and treating its negative aspects.

Also, it connects such individuals with the mas’ooleen and the shaykhs emotionally in the same manner that a person is connected with his father or therapist.

As a result, those who acquired Islam in this way are attached to certain personalities whom they regard as holy and follow as examples without any thinking.

Such a method does not produce intellectuals, thinkers, or mujtahids, nor does it claim to produce them.

It could be used in dealing with the young children or with those who do not think and therefore look forward to those who would think on their behalf and relieve them of the burden of thinking.

This approach could also apply to those who do not think and are seeking a group of people to associate with in order to enjoy the social environment and activities that this group or tribe provides them, such as friendship, visits, and collective activities involving ibadat, trips, and sports. Therefore, this method cannot initiate the revival of the Ummah or the muslims as a nation, nor can it provide the Ummah with the thought and the awareness needed for such a revival.

The Sufi Method

This approach is influenced by the notion that the human being consists of two components – the spirit and the material aspect – that are mutually antagonistic.

Thus, the human being has a spiritual momentum that must be elevated, and the only way to do so is to deprive the body of its physical needs. This process continues until the person attains a level where he merges with God and he sees God in himself.

From the vantage point of this method, Islam and its rules as mere signs and symbols guiding the person in his/her path towards God.

The value of these rules and symbols lay in comprehending their concealed or hidden meanings, what the Sufis call the "Haqiqah" or the reality.

This truth or "Haqiqah" is distinct from what they refer to as the apparent meaning, which they use to denote the Shariah.

Sufism upholds the idea of Fatalism in which everything is predestined and man has no will of his own.

Thus, the Sufis claim that a person must surrender to his situation and cannot change it. Furthermore, Sufism encourages the human being to live in seclusion and give the natural phenomena in the universe a metaphysical interpretation.

The Sufis also encourage passiveness, total surrender to the reality, and being careless about the reality because, according to their claim, these qualities characterize the one who suppresses himself, his/her desires, and his/her physical inclinations.

These qualities are needed for the one who wants to conceal his mind because they constitute the first step towards evanescence and merging into God’s entity.

Some people who either failed in the life or who just look to the Deen as an escape from the current situation may use this approach as an outlet of contentment or solace. This is an extremely dangerous approach because it kills the awareness and the thinking in the Ummah and propagates passiveness and total surrender to the status quo without any attempt to change it.

"Do they not then consider the Qur’an carefully? Had it been from other than Allah, they would surely have found within it many contradictions." [Qr 4:82]

"Tell Me! The water that you drink — is it you who causes it to come down from the rainclouds, or are We the Cause for it to come down?" [Qr 56:68-69]

"He is created from a fluid poured forth — proceeding from between the back bone and the ribs." [Qr 86:6-7]

"Do they not look at the camels, how they are created? And at the heaven, how it is raised? And at the mountains, how they are rooted and fixed firm? And at the earth, how it is spread out?" [Qr 88:17-20]

In all of these ayahs or phrases from the Quran, Allah directs the human being to think and analyze in order to build the Aqeedah of Islam within him through a definite conviction.

Thus, the method that Islam encourages in pursuing knowledge is based upon the intellect and entails thinking, research, and analysis.

It is not built upon blind faith, emotional belief, or submission without any discussion.

Such methods will not produce a dynamic Iman and cannot serve either as a foundation for a point of view of life or as a foundation to build other thoughts upon.

A person who adopts Islam through these methods will remain a hostage to the concepts that he/she carried from his/her previous background.

Although such a person may turn to Islam in a limited scope for such aspects as his/her ibadat, he/she will continue in his/her thinking to refer to other concepts.

He/She will constantly shift between a superficial Iman or faith that is not built upon a correct thinking process and indulging in discussion without a specific frame of mind, which will lead him either to diverging or straying from Islam altogether.

And he/she will not escape this spiral except by either compromising between what he/she adopted from Islam and whatever erroneous concepts he/she already possesses in order to bridge the gap, or by separating Islam from his/her thinking by restricting Islam to his/her rituals and thinking in a secular or pragmatic manner, or by deciding not to think at all except in his/her livelihood in order to save himself/herself from diverting.

All of these options are incorrect and, in reality, will not get the person out of this spiral.

Eventually, this cycle with drain the person’s power, particularly his intellectual capacity, which is the most valuable possession of man in this life.

Such an endless spiral results from an incorrect method of adopting Islam and acquiring knowledge.

“Do people imagine that they will be left at ease because they say 'We have faith!' and will not be tested? But certainly We tested those who were before them..” [Quran 29:2-3]

Nov 22, 2007

Comment on: Husband Unable to Perform

I would like to add something to the advice given at: Husband unable to perform sexually. As Muslims, we need to be real with one another. One of the best traits of the Prophet (peace and prayer be upon him) in my opinion was his frankness coupled with sound and straightforward dealings with people. I don't think it is wise for us to balk at calling sin what it is.

Sexual deprivation of one's wife is an injustice against her, just as the same against a husband would be injustice against him. So I will say this from a combined counselor's and Muslim's point of view. There is NO SUCH THING as 'unable to function sexually' for anyone who was able to function in the past. There are physical problems specific to the private parts, but we have many parts of our body with which to express intimacy.

A man may feel embarrassed about his condition, but it is nowhere near as embarrassed as he would be in hell. As a husband he is obligated to maintain the stability and peace in his home. If his pride gets in the way of this, he is in the wrong. If he loves her and loves Allah he will use the brain and the body he was blessed with, and do what he can to take care of his wife. No excuses.

Millions of people have the same problem, and almost everyone will because of age or illness either lose their drives or they will lower. This is a normal part of life, and all of us should be prepared for this eventuality when we marry. Perhaps if his duaa is directed towards dealing with his pride rather than just bringing back his potency, Allah will bless him with both.

I know from dealing with couples for years that often things are made better when the man becomes less centered on a specific way of intimacy, and opens his heart. Many men who had problems for awhile, realized that they do still have quite a bit of functioning. It's just not as easy as it was when they were younger. Their testosterone has lowered with age usually by 50 years old or so, and they actually need the 'touching and sweet words'. When they realize this, they move past frustration and realize that this is a beautiful phase in their lives when they become more understanding of their wives. As you like to say, Allah knows best. We were made wonderfully, and sometimes the things we consider to be flaws are actually good for us.

Ibtisam

May 4, 2006

Double Standards in A Barren Life

Assalamu aleikum Usually I find Brother Abdullah Abdur Rahman's answers the best on your site. But today he missed the boat. In his answer to A Barren Life? he questioned why the woman thought she did not have a 'proper marriage'.

To the reader the answer is clear - the husband is impotent! I hardly think that if a wife could not have sex with her husband for the greater part of 15 years that there would be any question that he should leave her.

Why the hesitation when the woman is left unfulfilled? Please do not continue these double standards which afflict Muslims - that a husband should divorce his wife or take another if his first wife has problems, but that the wife should remain patient with her husband and stay with him pretty much no matter what or bad his defects are.

Brenda

May 21, 2006

Re: Abdullah Abdur Rahman [counselor] on After Divorce, I Hate the Single Life.

Maria's Hussain's recent article Dress for Success: In This World And The Next was an interesting read. It was well written and made some very good points about how you are perceived based on the way you are dressed. However, there were some points in the article that conflict with Islamic Law and therefore I wish to point those out respectfully. 1) Declining to shake hands with someone of the opposite gender may be considered rude in the West. However, in Islamic Law it really is not a matter of whether someone would think of you as indecent or not were you to shake hands, as the article implies, but rather it is something forbidden. Whether its out of politeness or whether it lacks any lust, the touch is forbidden as we well know. And Allah knows best. 2) Again loose pants may be 'loose' but in all honestly, pants in general do not cover a woman properly. If a person can look at you and tell you your trouser/shirt size, you may not be dressed modestly enough. And this is exactly what happens when a woman wears pants. Having worked in the IT field as a woman who wore long skirts/shirts and even jilbabs with long scarfs, I know that it is perfectly acceptable to wear those clothes without having to wear pants. And Allah knows best. 3) I also think her comment about tying the scarf behind the head or under the chin was not in good taste. While these things may have certain meanings in the West, I think we all know that slowly but surely overtime things acquire new meanings. And I believe we need to be confident about who we are. Wearing a pin in a specific place as long as it looks decent does not need to be an issue, because then it just seems like we are being apologetic about who we are. If someone wishes to think of me as a 'housewife'(and I don't know how I'm supposed to perceive that as an insult unless I am myself influenced by feminist ideals) because of the way my pin is placed on my hijab, in all honesty, I think that is their concern, not mine.