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Traditions
of Marriage
In
Malay: Simple Marriages Are On
The
Malay marriage is a regal affair. The bride and groom are treated as
king and queen for a day.
The
pre-wedding meeting between the bride’s and the groom’s parents will
determine the mahr (dower) that is to be given to the bride as well as
the date of the solemnization. This may be as early as a year before the
wedding itself so that arrangements can be made in advance. The berinai
(henna application) ceremony is held prior to the wedding. The bride’s
palms and feet are decorated with the dye from the henna leaves.
Sometimes this is followed by the tukar pakaian (costume changes) when
the bride and, less often, the groom will don different clothes for
photography. The pelamin (raised dais) will be beautifully decorated for
the purpose.
The
solmnization is normally presided by a kadhi, a religious official of
the Syariat (Shari`ah) Court. The simplicity of this ritual belies the
tremendous responsibilities of the groom to care for his bride, and this
is reinforced in a brief lecture on marriage and its responsibilities
delivered later by the kadhi. The groom is also reminded that, should he
fail to provide both spiritual and physical sustenance for his wife, the
marriage may be dissolved if a complaint is made to the Syariat Court.
Guests
are invited to partake of a meal on Sunday. This is usually held in the
empty deck of a housing board flat so as to accommodate the large number
of guests invited. Guests are presented with a bunga telur each.
Literally, this means “flower and egg”. The egg symbolizes a fertile
union and the hope that the marriage will produce many children. Indeed,
the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) once said, “Marry and
produce many children so that I may be proud of my many followers on
Judgment Day.”
Today,
most of these customs are dispensed with. Indeed the more conservative
adherents of the Muslim faith will shun any practice deemed un-Islamic.
This includes the wanton display of the bride to members of the opposite
sex who are not her family members, playing of loud music, and
intermingling of the different sexes during the meal.
Contributed
by Rozita Mohd Said
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Source: www.zawaj.com
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